Episode #440 – Getting Good with Money: A Conversation with Kate Northrup

Cherylanne Skolnicki:

This is episode 440 of the Brilliant Balance Podcast, building Wealth Without Burning out a conversation with Kate Northrop. Today’s guest is a voice that so many women are ready to hear. I know the women in my community are gonna be delighted that Kate is with us today. Kate Northrop is a bestselling author and entrepreneur, speaker, and the creator of The Relaxed Money Method, a neuroscience based way to recalibrate how we think about wealth, worth and success. She has been teaching women about how to shift their relationship with money from stress and scarcity to clarity, confidence, and sustainable prosperity for years now. And I have been a follower of her work for a long time, so I’m super pumped to talk to her today. Kate’s first book is called Money A Love Story. What a great title it has helped thousands of women untangle the emotional knots that they have around money and create financial lives that feel good in real time, not just on paper.

Her second book is called Do Less Challenges, the Hustle Model that equates busyness with worth and invites us to step into more ease without sacrificing impact or income. Her work is really grounded in the real world of making money and feeling grounded while doing it, and she’s been featured all over the place. Outlets you’ll recognize, like The Today Show, glamor, Harvard Business Review. So for the brilliant, balanced listener, women like you who have achieved a lot and are still feeling that tension sometimes between your ambition and the pull of the rest of your life, I think Kate brings a really refreshing perspective to a topic that we don’t talk enough about, and that is money. So we’re gonna talk about how our money stories evolve across seasons of life, how nervous system patterns really shape financial decision making, who knows and what it finally takes to feel safe with the abundance that you’ve worked so hard to create. Kate, welcome to the podcast.

Kate Northrop:

Thank you. I’m so happy to be here.

CS:

This is gonna be great. So I wanna just start with the idea that you describe money as a relationship, and that is such a unique perspective. It’s really not just about numbers. Can you share a moment like in your own life where that shift really crystallized for you?

KN:

Yeah. It was early <laugh>. It was early. This is actually what I wrote my first book about, um, money, a love story. So I was in my early twenties and I had a business and I was making more money than my peers. Mm-hmm. Um, however, I was my peers my same age. Yes. But I was <laugh>, just to be clear,

CS:

Clarify

KN:

<laugh>, but I was hanging out with business women who were a few steps ahead of me, which is a great super success method that I highly recommend. However, I was really good at acting as if I was at the same level, but not just acting as if I misunderstood the instructions, acting as if, and instead I spent as if, and so I ended up in quite a bit of credit card debt for me. You know, and it’s, everything’s relative. And that’s why I say that money is a relationship. There is no such thing as a number. That means something outside of context. A number is always neutral. The context of your life and your relationship with that money, that number, and what you make it mean and what it means in your life. That’s right. Is everything. So my debt felt like a mountain. I was making $34,000 a year. I had $20,000 worth of credit card debt, and I was like, what am I gonna do about this? Yeah. And I kept trying to do all the things. I literally put my credit cards in the freezer. I tried cutting out all expenditures, like lattes and, and pedicures. I tracked every dollar down to the penny. I like trying to be on a budget. See that

CS:

Already my whole body is constricted. Correct. As you’re saying, I like switching. Yeah. Yeah.

KN:

So spoiler alert, none of that works. Doesn’t work. It works. <laugh>, I rebelled because it felt so constrictive. Yes. And it felt so like me trying to be good, which I was already so well practiced at being good at. Amen. Like being a good woman and whatever, being a good girl. And so I just kept rebelling and I would go to a consignment, you know, luxury store, and I would like to buy a product code. I had no business buying and I would like to sign up for this incredible workshop and like to put it all on a credit card. And I just, it was leaking out all over the place. And eventually the tension between who I seemed like, who I was presenting myself in the world as and how I was actually behaving with my money became so intense that tension became so uncomfortable that I was like, I have to figure out how to live in integrity.

I didn’t use those words at the time, but that’s what was happening. I was having anxiety, I was, I couldn’t sleep. I mean, it was a whole thing. So I tried something radical and I was like, what if I, instead of tr treating financial, my financial affairs as discipline and like I’m in trouble and like I’ve been bad. What if I used fun and pleasure and love to actually love myself into financial wellbeing? And I started categorizing all my financial action steps in the same category as like a pedicure or like a fun movie night or Okay, whatever. Interesting. And I started doing weekly money dates with myself where I wore a special, like, like my fanciest clothes and I put on special music and I drank bubbly water out of a wine glass. And I like making it a whole thing. And there were, there’s so much more to the story, but like, yes,

CS:

Go read the book. Right.

KN:

I changed the way I was relating to money and as a result, I paid off all my credit card debt, tripled my income, and doubled my savings in six months. And it is not because I budgeted harder, I did not get into a relationship with a wealthy person <laugh>. I did not get a huge pay raise and I did not come into an inheritance. So just to be clear, it was because the way I related to money changed. Yes. And so the way money related to me changed.

CS:

I mean, we could just end right there. <laugh>. I think that’s, I, ’cause I, when I read that book years ago, I think the concept of a money date was so radical and this idea that you’re sort of turning money into your lover, like this is this, this is a love affair with this thing that I want more of in my life is, um, remarkable. Like it’s just so feminine and very, it was such a radical shift from how I would’ve ever thought about it. I, this is the nerdy version of saying this, is, I would have said, I refuse to focus on cutting expenses. I just wanna grow the top line. Like I would say that over and over again, it’s much more fun to focus on how to increase your income than it is to focus on how to, you’re not gonna save your way to abundance ever. Right. That ‘s just my belief. You just won’t, but you do have to keep things in balance. There has to be a kind of, the equation has to balance. And I, I wanna talk about that for sure, because I do think when our identity gets tied up in our spending patterns, we can get a little upside down.

KN:

So a hundred percent

CS:

<laugh>, and a lot of women have this very high, you were describing like what it looked like on the outside was really different from what was going on on the inside. This high functioning, privately stressed pattern, um, I think is very common. And also, uh, we don’t talk about it. Like, I think a lot of people are hiding that pattern. So, so, well you’re

KN:

Not allowed to talk about money. It’s such a taboo. People would rather tell me about their sex life than they would tell me about their financial picture. Which

CS:

It is wild. It’s wild. I know. And, and, but it’s so true. And I think it’s particularly true for women, but I was socially conditioned that way. I mean, my parents were like, we don’t talk about money. It’s just hundred

KN:

Percent’s it’s considered rude. Right.

CS:

So what patterns do you see showing up for these kinds of smart, successful women around money? And like, do those patterns change as we get older or as we shift our priorities? Or like, are they pretty set?

KN:

Hmm. I love that question. So some of the patterns I see are financial secrecy. Um, because most of us were raised in households where money wasn’t talked about. And so as we grow up, we just don’t talk about money. And then we have, we have this idea that we should know this already, or oh gosh, if anyone knew that I had a line of credit or I have this unpaid credit card from my whatever thing, or who even know, like,

CS:

Who knows. Right.

KN:

There’s literally what I love about the work that I do is people eventually start telling me things. Yes. And what I am here to report is behind the scenes even of the most wildly successful external women with huge followings and big revenue numbers. I have never met anybody who’s not a little bit disordered or a lot disordered about money behind the scenes either in their logistics or their emotions around it, or both. Yeah. So if anyone listening has financial shame, I just want you to know there’s nothing you have going on that I haven’t heard before. And there’s nothing wrong with you. Right. Like it’s pretty normal. I don’t think that we need to carry the shame around. Agreed. And so that’s why I talk about it to just be like, listen, people have stuff going down behind the scenes,

CS:

Everybody. Yeah. It’s like the Brene Brown adage that shame grows in the dark. Right? I mean, it thrives if we are not talking about the thing that’s tripping us up. Yes. Around money or anything for that matter. Yeah. It just propagates and there’s this hundred percent talking about it with somebody who can actually maybe get you on a different path is going to open up that path.

KN:

Or even someone just to begin with. One of the first steps that I teach is telling the truth to someone safe. So first you have to get the courage to know the truth about your numbers. And that’s a pattern that I see in very smart successful women is financial avoidance. Okay. Because many of us are creators and we love to be on stage or creating a new body of work or writing a book or doing a collaboration or doing a podcast. Like we love to be out doing things. And so sitting with our numbers feels like punishment or like terminally boring, you know? But what I wanna say is that pattern of like, oh, I don’t need to look at what I have, I’ll just make more. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. It is a recipe for burnout, right. Because we

CS:

Treadmill

KN:

Don’t create wealth from what we make. We create wealth from what we keep and grow. And if we’re not tending to what we already have, yes. Income is part of the equation, but if we’re not tending to what we already have, it’s sort of, I mean, this is an extreme example, but it’s kind of like having baby after baby after baby and just sort of like throwing them in the back of the house. And

CS:

That’s extreme. Yeah. That’s an extreme example. <laugh>, I

KN:

Know it’s

CS:

Extreme, but I like the analogy, what it’s, I think just pause for a second on this because I think a lot of people, their first instinct is like, I have to make more money. I said it before, my instinct would’ve been to grow the top line. Right? Absolutely. So the notion of like, I have to have a higher salary or I have to have a bigger business. If you’re an entrepreneur, what you’re saying is, yeah, that’s a piece of the equation, but it’s really about what do you keep and how do you grow that, that that’s, that is a fundamental principle I wanna make sure people get,

KN:

I have friends who make more than I do in their businesses, but because the systems and the structure isn’t there, which I call the hidden money ecosystem. So your hidden money ecosystem is the stuff that no one else can see. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. It’s your energy and emotions around money. And it’s the engineering around money. Okay. So I have these friends who are top line, their revenue is higher mm-hmm <affirmative>. However, because there’s been a pattern of avoiding the systems and over giving people pleasure. I mean there’s such a lack of boundaries.

CS:

So many. Yes. There’s a

KN:

Lots we could get into. Yes. But as a result, at the end of the year, they have so much less, even though I make less on the top line. Top line. Mm-hmm. But my profit margins are really high. Yes. So anyway, all of that to say like financial secrets, financial shame avoidance, financial avoidance, these are very, very common. Running under the surface with super smart, successful women often who make really good money. Because what I say is making good money doesn’t make you good with money.

CS:

Oh, that’s a good line. That’s good.

KN:

But if you may, if you get good with money, which is absolutely a skill. Anyone can learn. Absolutely. Yep. Like, if you can do simple math, you can be good with money. It’s really, I’m terrible at math just to be clear. Like, I really can’t do much beyond addition and subtraction. And even then I still use my fingers <laugh>. So just know you can be great with money. And when you get good with money, the cool thing is that on the, on the, like, on the level of the hidden and the invisible, the visible results start to shift in a very dramatic way. Because the way you are showing up is different. You become magnetic to opportunities. People wanna do business with you. People wanna hire you. People feel like in your presence, they feel their level of confidence because when it’s grounded in a strong relationship with money and a strong logistical container with your money, you become really magnetic because money comes from humans. The reason money is relational is because no money shows up in our life without another, without another person. Human beings have made a decision for that money to end up in our life. Right.

CS:

It just transfers from one person to another, moving through the world. Right. From person to person as goods and services or exchange, kind of econ 1 0 1. But that is, I think we forget that that money is a human exchange. It’s person to person.

KN:

It’s a human exchange. Yeah. Money is not its own money.

CS:

That’s my own thing. Yeah. It’s

KN:

Right. It is a stand-in for what someone deems valuable or not, which is completely personal. It’s societal, it’s cultural. There’s nothing inherently valuable about anything. That’s right.

CS:

That’s why one person has a bag that’s $20 and one person has a bag that’s $20,000. It’s Correct. Still a bag. Yes.

KN:

It’s still a bag. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. Just there to hold stuff.

CS:

That’s right. That’s right. <laugh> to, I don’t know if I agree with that, but I will say that <laugh> at some level, bags are, it’s a thing. I

KN:

Known bags are a whole thing. Oh, it’s a thing. But I mean there’s,

CS:

It’s a really good example right? Of course, it functionally carries stuff from one place to another. And yet we have this huge spectrum of how we value that. And we could have a whole separate episode

KN:

And what we think it means about us: Yes. Us. Right. When we carry that certain bag versus a different bag. That’s right. And that is, I just really wanna be super clear. All of that is pretend. I’m not saying it doesn’t matter, but we do. I really want people to understand that the entire financial system is completely made up. I recently had the opportunity to meet and get to know and become friends with Lynn Twist, who wrote The Soul of Money. Yes. Have you ever read it? Yes. Okay. She’s a legend. Yes. She just turned 81. She’s one of the most radiant women. Her energy is incredible.

CS:

I love those women who are like just in the after glove of life, just still pouring wisdom into people. It’s amazing.

KN:

Like, and she’s not stopping. Like she’s just, she is as deeply committed to her mission of um, essentially like creating a new dream for the modern world as she was 40 years ago. I love that. As she was I mean, she’s been, anyway, she’s been dedicated to the betterment of the planet for over 60 years, a

CS:

It’s been a long time.

KN:

So Lynn was telling the story of when she, so Lynn is the co-creator of the Pachamama Alliance, which is an, um, they work with tribes in the Amazon to protect the sacred headwaters of the Amazon River, which is really the energetic heart of the planet. It has so much to do with our entire environment in the world and so many other things. But when she first met the first group, they started, uh, supporting the Achuar people. She went in and um, she was asked to explain money to them. And this is a group of people who had lived so deep in the Amazon for so long without any contact with the external world. They were like, wait,

CS:

What? Come again? Why

KN:

Would you need that? Because we have everything we need. That’s right. Right here from the earth.

CS:

That’s

KN:

Right. From our tree sisters and brothers from our animal sisters. Like they are from the river. Like, and so I just think it’s really important for us to ground into that reality that all the stuff around money, the economy, the credit system, the debt system, like all of it is made up. And what’s cool about all of it being made up, is it not, it’s not that it doesn’t matter, it’s not that it’s not important, it’s that we get to really understand that it is a game. And if we learn the rules of the game, it gets a lot easier as opposed to thinking like, I’m, this is being done to me and I’m somehow like

CS:

A Yeah. A victim of it. And I suspect that reshaping our identity around how we think about ourselves in relation to money is core to this. Right. Because you were saying, you know, a bag is just a bag. Right. The meaning is what you assign to it in terms of what you think it says about you or a car or a brand of clothing or whatever. So when our sense of self is so tied to our income or our wealth, I wonder how you help women disentangle some sort of identity from income or identity from wealth so that money becomes a tool. Yes. And not like a scorecard.

KN:

I’m so glad you’re asking this question. What a great question. Because it is a huge block. It’s actually what’s odd is we think that ascribing our value to our net worth or our income or our revenue or a bag or a car or a handsome guy or the number of kids, whatever our kids, achi, achievements, all of that stuff, you know, we think like that if we invest our worth in our value and our identity in those external markers, we will be more likely to get them. What I’ve actually found is the opposite, which is that if we can release ourselves from making our net worth or our launch numbers or our book sales or whatever, mean anything about us in our core as a human, we practice healthy detachment. And it goes, we go from the gripping hand

CS:

Mm-hmm <affirmative>. To the

KN:

Open hand, which when we have a gripping fist, we can’t receive anything. But when we hold our lives, our accomplishments, our achievements, our money, even with an open palm, not only can we allow our resources to flow to others, we also are open to receiving in a way. We are not, when we’re so gripped to like, I must have a seven figure year, otherwise that means I’m a failure, I’m a whatever. So how do we do that? The cool thing is our identity markers, uh, live in our nervous system wiring. And our nervous system is the electrical of our body. It’s, it includes our brain and it also includes all of the nerves all through our entire body. There’s really not any place that your nerves don’t go except for like your nails and your hair. Okay. Um, <laugh>,

CS:

Thank God. ’cause haircuts would be a real problem.

KN:

Oh, can you even imagine <laugh>? So our nervous system wires together particular pathways of energy that are related to particular thought patterns, beliefs and identities. Yep. And we know that when we fire the same neural pathways over and over again, they deepen, it gets easier to fire those particular pathways. And so if we were raised, for example, in a household, in an environment that really focused on achievement as a marker of worth, that wiring is pretty strong.

CS:

No kidding.

KN:

<laugh>. Yeah. The coating around those particular synapses and neural pathways actually gets thicker and thicker and thicker. It’s called myelination. Yep. Just like in an electrical wire, if, you know, you cover those wires with like, um, I don’t know if it’s re

CS:

Plastic or something, whatever that is, my dad would be horrified. Yeah. Um,

KN:

Right. It’s just thick. And that’s in the brain. The cool thing though is when we bring our bodies and our nervous systems to the table, I say body first, bank account second or body first, business second, when we actually begin to work with our bodies and increase our capacity literally, energetically. And I’m happy to give you a whole list of ways we can do that, both physiological and energetic and emotional. When we do that, our body and we start to practice new ways of thinking, new ways of being, and we actually have resourced our body with the energy. Our body says, oh, there’s enough resources to change. What most people are making the mistake doing is saying, well, I don’t want to feel like my income means how worthy I am, so I’ll just stop thinking,

CS:

Think my way outta it. Right.

KN:

I’m not No. Think your way out of a deeply

CS:

Held

KN:

Belief ingrained pattern in your nervous system. That’s right. Especially if you have a life where you’re running from thing to thing and you’re incredibly stressed out because your survival wiring takes over and it says, oh, there’s not enough resources right now. We’re clearly in a stressful situation. There’s not enough resources to actually devote literally the calories to rewiring our nervous system because redoing the electrical, just like in a house, redoing the electrical in your body is expensive. Just literally. And it requires money in real life, but in your body it requires calories. And so if you’re overly stressed, your body will not devote the calories to a new thought pattern. A new belief and new identity possibilities. So we

CS:

I have to go. So lemme test my understanding of this, just ’cause I’ve, that is a lot to process. That was a lot. Yeah. You think I’ve got it. But so what I’m hearing you say is if you have a longstanding belief pattern or thought pattern, our, our instinct is, I’m gonna just think differently. I’m gonna think my way out of the situation. Yeah.

KN:

People say all the time, oh, change your thoughts, change

CS:

Your life. Right. And that doesn’t work. I wish it

KN:

That was easy.

CS:

But what does work is creating safety in your body, groundedness for your nervous system, such that you feel differently when you think the thought. And then that’s how you’re actually ultimately able to shift the thought or the behavior.

KN:

A hundred percent. Because when you signal safety to your body, your nervous system switches from a sympathetic dominant, which is a stress response to a parasympathetic dominant, which is, oh, rest digest, tend befriend. It’s like, oh, we have resources. We’re not at war. No one’s attacking me. Wonderful.

CS:

Okay. So that allows you to then shift. Yes. So talk about how to do that. Give me like one or two, you said a hundred gimme one or two practices that somebody could do. I literally had written this question down like a practical shift that you can start to make in your nervous system that allows you to get the ball rolling.

KN:

So one of my favorites is, I call it the power reset. Um, you know, so many of us want to feel more powerful and we think we’re gonna feel more powerful when we get a handbag or a certain amount of income. And, and sometimes we do for a minute. But those external wins never create the sustainable sense of like, oh, I am fully resourced. I feel whole no matter what, you know, so I call it the power reset. And you just, all you do is you stand up and you shake your whole body from head to toe.

CS:

Oh boy.

KN:

Even to the point that you feel silly and a little longer than you want to, because this actually is like, it’s takes a lot of energy when

CS:

It sounds like a prank. But I believe you <laugh>, this is not a

KN:

Prank. 30 seconds. You can do it 30 seconds to up to, you know, three minutes. I love it, I actually have a shaking playlist. So I have a few songs that really work for this Well, and you know, usually a song’s about three minutes. Sure. You shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, everything, everything, everything, everything. It’s also excellent for, um, exercise <laugh> and bonus lymphatic drainage <laugh> mm-hmm <affirmative>. When you have done that. So what we, what we notice, I think are best lessons for how to live well as humans come from the natural world in nature. If you were out on the Savannah in Africa and you were an antelope and you were being chased by a lion and you outran the lion, what happens is the antelope will stand and shake.

CS:

Yes. Like your dog does too.

KN:

Yeah. Your dog does the same thing. And I don’t, I, I, um, have given birth two times and both times I shook uncontrollably

CS:

Afterwards. Same. Yeah. Nervous system release after my wisdom fatigue.

KN:

Because your body’s metabolizing the stress. Yes. And you it is, it is letting all the stress hormones mm-hmm. And everything metabolizes so that your body has received the message, the stressor is over, and has passed mm-hmm <affirmative>. And we are safe. Now, now most women are walking around, the stress has passed, but they, the stressor, there’s no release

CS:

Has passed.

KN:

Right. But they’re still holding the stress because they haven’t done anything to metabolize it. So this power reset is, I mean, there’s so many practices that I teach. Yes. But I love this one ’cause it’s easy to describe. So three

CS:

Minutes of shaking, one to three, three minutes of shaking

KN:

Full, 30 seconds to three minutes full. Also, depending on your cardiovascular capacity, quite frankly,

CS:

But full body, it’s a full body release and you’re signaling to your body, like this cycle is complete. Even if you didn’t know you were stuck in one, you’re kind of queuing your body like, I’m safe.

KN:

I have, I’m safe now. And what happens is, let’s say you’re, you’re like, give me an example of a thought pattern or a belief pattern that one of your listeners might be stuck in

CS:

Around money specifically mm-hmm <affirmative>. Yeah. I mean I just, I think the pattern is like, I, I don’t have enough or I’m never gonna figure this out

KN:

A hundred percent. I don’t have enough. I’m never gonna figure this out. So really rooted in the lie of scarcity, right? Yeah. So when we come, you cannot talk yourself out of that. Right. If you’re stressed and that thought is really stressful. So <laugh>

CS:

Cycle, cycle, cycle, cycle.

KN:

Yes. Yeah. So you stop, that’s

CS:

What I think is so radical about your work is that you can’t talk yourself out of a problem at the state. You created it from the state, you created it. So if you created this thought pattern and problem from this hyped up state and you’re agitated and worried and you stay agitated and worried to try to solve it, you’re not going to solve it there <laugh>. Like

KN:

That just doesn’t work. No. You’re going to create solutions that create morelack. Yes. Because we can only get the result of the state that we are in when we create the solution. Yes. Does that make sense? Yes. So anyway, you do the thing, you power reset, you come back and then you can look at solving the problem and you will have an unbelievable amount of energy and capacity and creative thinking and possibility and all of these new cognitive abilities available to you. When your body has metabolized the stress first people are constantly making the mistake. ’cause they don’t know that they are just trying to solve everything from the standpoint of their cognition. But when you are overloaded and stuck in limitation, your cognition cannot think your way out of it. But your body can free you so that then your mind gets freed as a result. That’s

CS:

So good. It’s so good. And it’s, what I love about what you’ve shared in this piece is that it’s simple. Like I’m sure there’s gonna be a listener going like, okay, great. That’s overly simplified and it, um, it’s, there’s more pieces to this, but I think this is a really important first step is like, if you don’t get that aha moment, that this is much more about what’s going on with your nervous system than your capability or your worth. We don’t, we can’t even get lift off. Like it’s, it’s a foundational principle. So as we think about how this changes in seasons of life, right? I think there’s kind of these years of the climb where we’re really focused on acquisition and increase. And then there’s kind of, I work with a lot of women at the peak who are like, this is maximum complexity, maximum like indispensability, everybody needs a piece of me all the time. Right? That’s really my audience. Um, before things start to edit themselves down a little bit. Right? So when you’re in one of those seasons and everything does feel like there’s not enough of you to go around much less enough money, like are, do those twins, do those ideas somehow like to breed together? Tell me how

KN:

Well, ’cause they’re both rooted in the lie of scarcity in the lie of separation. And so the lie of scarcity says there’s not enough to go around for anything. Uh, what’s actually true is there are enough resources on the planet for everyone to live a good life. They are not distributed very well, but there are enough. And then the other true thing is we really are the source of time. So when we look at the ancient Greeks, they had two different words for time. They had Kairos time and they had Kronos time. And I’m sure you’re familiar with this. Yes. Um, Kronos time is like, oh, we had an appointment at a particular time to record this podcast. Kronos time is wonderful. We love that. It keeps the world running. We need it. And most people never experience, they’re not setting themselves up for and they’re not prioritizing kairos time, which is timeless time. The difference between Kronos and Kairos is the five minutes you waited in line at this coffee shop for your latte this morning and the five minutes that you were first holding your baby in your arms. It’s like those times the sense

CS:

Of timelessness, right. Timelessness Einstein still

KN:

Mm-hmm <affirmative>. That makes our life worth living. Yes. It’s the flow state that Mika trick sent me. I wrote about it in his book flow. It’s so many moments that literally are the entire point at the end of our lives, we will look back and we will only remember the kairos moments. We will not remember when we were on time for the airplane or like saving the five minutes because we whatever, like it

CS:

Took the fastly literally

KN:

Doesn’t matter.

CS:

Right? Right. It doesn’t matter.

KN:

So a lie of scarcity says there’s not enough of a lie of separation. Says I am separate from everyone else and I am separate from the source. When we actually begin to dissolve through coming back into embodiment and fully inhabiting these incredible vessels that are preloaded and with this technology allowing us to not only feel amazing, right? Like we are literally wired for pleasure, but also to plug into source. We become a literal bio battery. And so that happens through connection with each other. That happens through connection with nature, that happens through connection with whatever your understanding is of the universe. God, higher power, your inner voice, whatever. It doesn’t matter how you just name

CS:

It what you will <laugh>,

KN:

But all. Yeah, exactly. But when we squash the lie of separation and the lie of scarcity, it doesn’t mean that we won’t have problems anymore. It just means that we’re not so stuck in this narrow band of limitation and miracles start to happen. So let me give you an example,

CS:

<laugh>.

KN:

We were working on our Relax Money live event, which is a big live event that we do every year. And we were for the first time sourcing sponsors for the event, um, to be able to add all these bells and whistles and like really make it more robust from a production level. And um, we had gotten a little bit behind the eight ball on doing that for a number of reasons that I won’t go into. We all know how that goes.

CS:

It happens, right?

KN:

So I was practicing connecting with sources, connecting with my body, staying really resourced and feeling great on the inside. And also holding a strong vision and a strong frequency of what I wanted this event to feel like and be like. And, I was connecting with that on a regular basis. So we’re doing all the practical things to source the sponsors. However we get this email out of the blue from someone I’ve never met before, didn’t even know this person existed. They did not know we were sourcing sponsors for the event because we never did that publicly. It was only behind

CS:

The scenes. Right. That was private behind the scenes. Yeah,

KN:

Totally. Like individual private touchpoints. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. It was not on Instagram. Nowhere. They write in, hi, we see you’ve got this event coming up. The event was publicized, but that’s it. We would like to, and nowhere on the website was it like we’re sourcing sponsors, hi, we see we have this event coming up. Um, we would like to come in at the highest level of whatever do you do you have sponsorships and we

CS:

Wanna be the highest level.

KN:

We’d like to come in at the highest level and support this event because it is so in line with the vision that we have for women and the world. Wow. And we want to be part of this. Out of the blue comes a sizable five figure, just like boom, that could not have been created through individual effort.

CS:

Well there’s no person you, there’s no way there’s, you could have done it

KN:

No way I could have strategized to make that happen.

CS:

Right.

KN:

And as a result, our whole community got a different upgraded experience. And that was just the perfect example of what happens when we break out of the lie of scarcity and the lie of separation and and and really activate.

CS:

That’s right.

KN:

Like our energy from inside. It’s

CS:

Kind of like the world of noetics. Like that idea that you’re connected to through the ether, right. To the, to this person, this organization, quantum

KN:

Physics really can explain it makes

CS:

It’s real. Right?

KN:

It is real. It’s not actually woo. And that’s like a whole other conversation, right. But increasingly we have incredible research to show us how this works, but we’re just not well practiced in, um, living that way because we’re so obsessed with like the visible and the strategic and like, oh, it only matters if it’s a logical five step plan and I check all the boxes and I we need to do all those things too. But

CS:

It’s almost like this is a, this is a trite simplification, I’ll admit it. Right. But I think that it’s almost like when you are in that state and you were being very clear about your intention that this is, we are in the midst of sourcing these sponsors. I am very clear that I am open to receiving this. I am very clear that I’m in that state. Like that is like the beacon signal, right? It’s just out there. It’s like I am putting that frequency out into the world from this clarity, which I think clarity precedes this every time, right? Confidence precedes this every time when you’re sitting in that groundedness and that clarity is out. I mean I’ve had this experience 6,000 times in my life where it’s like, then the phone rings, then the email comes, then the person asks for a thing you hadn’t even said you were gonna do. Like that’s so real. And I think most people would dismiss it as, you know, manifestation or something. I don’t even think that’s what it’s, I think it’s just your clarity connecting with the clarity of intent in someone else. And a

KN:

Hundred percent. And what we actually know is that the frequency of the electromagnetic field of our bodies is impacting the frequency. Like literally our heart rate changes, the heart rates of people around us, our brainwaves train with the brainwaves of people around us. And if you are being what you’re describing, which is a clear signal, a confident signal, that’s what’s called coherence. And the most coherent person in the room is the thermostat. That’s right. And so everybody trains with them. That’s

CS:

Right. That’s right. Yes. Amen. And I think we see that in parenting. Yes. We see that in businesses. We see it. Right. You just do, I mean, think about if you are a parent and you’ve held your child against your chest and how your heart rates start to synchronize, your breathing starts to synchronize. This is exactly what we’re talking about. It’s, it’s a hundred

KN:

Percent. And it just, it also applies to money because money comes through humans.

CS:

That’s right. That’s, that’s,

KN:

That’s why I love combining the conversation about biology and

CS:

Yes. Well I think this is what’s so radical about your work. This is what makes it distinctive. This is where people who are used to buying money books, traditional money books, are going to find that this level of teaching around money is so distinctive and so feminine and so aligned with um, I think a really modern way of thinking about it. So you do a lot of teaching about this work and so many more practices that you are a wealth of wisdom about. You have a workshop coming up. Can you tell the listeners about that in case they want to attend?

KN:

Yeah. Once a year I do a big annual event for free, virtually it’s called Good With Money because as we discussed, making good money doesn’t make you good with money. And even if you don’t feel like you’re good, you make good money. This is a wonderful place to be <laugh>. This is the place where, first of all, we take out all the garbage. So we start with deprogramming, like taking out all the faulty wiring, taking out all the conditioning, taking out all of the old stories so that you can be a clean, open vessel to install only the ideas, the beliefs, the identity, the practices, the actual logistical financial architecture that you are consciously choosing. And then during the process of the three day workshop, we actually are going to identify what the state of what I call your hidden money ecosystem is. So we all have our hidden money ecosystem.

It’s the combination of your emotions and energetics and the engineering. What are you actually doing with your money? But it’s the parts that nobody sees. And so what most women are doing is trying to fix the visible. And when we tend to the invisible stuff that no one else can see, the visible tends to change on its own or it’s way easier to change it once we get there. Um, so we identify the state of your hidden money ecosystem. We begin to plug the leaks. We begin to unblock the blocks and we map out a custom 90 day strategy plan for you and your money based on specific inputs around my framework to know not just what should anyone do, but what would be your best next brilliant step.

CS:

Yeah, that’s brilliant. So you do that over a three day series of like live sessions that people can come and learn with you and then they’re gonna walk out of that with this 90 day plan that’s customized to them. Amazing. Amazing.

KN:

I call it the relaxed money roadmap.

CS:

Okay. The Relaxed Money roadmap. I love it. So we will make sure that the registration link for that workshop is in the show notes. We’ll sync up this timing. Um, do you know the URL off hand or do you want me to just put it in the notes?

KN:

You can just put it in. Yeah,

CS:

That’s easier. Anyhow. Nobody wants to type something. Right. So we will, we will have that link for you in the show notes. We will make sure that it goes out with the episode as well when we share this one. Because I think that the idea of being able to devote a few hours of time over the course of a few days to get this sorted and really understand what is happening beneath the surface, that could be the thing that is ultimately holding you back from having the relationship with money that you want to have feels really powerful. Um, is there anything else that you would encourage listeners to do besides check out the workshop?

KN:

Well, another great place since if you’re listening, you’re a podcast listener, you can also come check out my podcast plenty. And right now I have a brand new series called The Recalibration, which is for high capacity humans to come and recalibrate their relationship with power, safety and money. So that’s a great place to plug in as well. Well

CS:

It sure is and I love it. I love your podcast. I love it when people who have a podcast get to kind of share theirs because it’s so easy for listeners to jump over from one show to another. So please go check out Kate’s show and we’ll link that as well in the show notes. And then I really want you to consider attending this workshop if this is an area of your life that has been creating shame or secrecy or avoidance, all the patterns that Kate referenced at the beginning. I think this is such an easy place to kind of go speak the truth, at least to yourself, and get very, very clear about what is going on. Because when you can get good with money, so many good things are waiting on the other side of that for you. Like I think I just don’t want anybody to wait another day to begin that journey to get good with money.

KN:

A hundred percent. I’m so glad you said that. ’cause I will just say one last thing. Yeah. Out of all the things you could tend to in your life, money really does have a time value because of compounding interest and because of opportunity cost and because of the fact that the number one cause of stress for most people is financial. Yeah. And so there’s no place in your life that this is not impacting. But the good news is when you get it sorted, there’s no place in your life that doesn’t get better.

CS:

She’s amazing. Amazing. Kate, thank you for being with us today, for being a part of this show. It has been a delight to have you. I’m so glad we were able to make the timing work and um, just thanks for being here.

KN:

Thanks for having me. This was great.