I have a serious question for you today….
Where is my phone?
(You might think I’m joking, but bear with me.) This is a search and rescue mission I perform not just once, but multiple times each day.
Once the phone has been identified as missing, I’ll ask my husband to call me and cross my fingers that it’s not on silent mode. If it is, then we all know what time it is…
It’s time for that screeching “Find My iPhone” alert that I just know was made for moments like this.
Why does this keep happening?
If this sounds like the same scenario at your house, have comfort: you’re not alone.
We’re just distracted. A lot.
As women, it’s not surprising that the majority of us are struggling to find our focus these days. We have a lot on our minds and a lot to juggle each day. We serve multiple roles, and as we try to move back and forth among them, we can sometimes show up as scattered, frazzled, or having the dreaded “mommy brain.”
When I ask women in my client community what they want most in their lives, what would you guess the number one answer is?
It’s the desire to feel focused and present in their lives.
We all want that sense of being deeply present – and most of us don’t have it. If we’re honest about why, it usually comes down to thought patterns that are in our way.
So what are these problematic thoughts that tend to run through our head?
- There’s not enough time. Fighting this is like fighting gravity. You have all the time you’re going to get. We all do. What this thought really translates to is that we haven’t made the tough calls on what we actually have time to do, and where we need to draw the boundaries in our day.
- Multi-tasking is my only hope. THIS one, y’all. I used to think I was the best multi-tasker in the entire world. I was doing everything and then some. But turns out – it doesn’t work. And the data is pretty clear.
- Thinking “I should really be handling things at home right now” (or conversely, “I should really be working right now.”) The reason for this is we haven’t clarified for ourselves where we most want to be in that moment and then aligned our actions with it. So we can’t settle in because we’re wondering if we made a bad decision.
If you want to shift out of these thought patterns, there are four words that can really have magical powers in your day. And they were given to me back when I was working in my corporate job by a really dear colleague.
So what are these four magical words?
Be where you are.
It’s easier said than done. And it requires you to be intentional about your time and make a choice about where you’re going to be today. For example, if you are planning to sit in the stands at a basketball game tonight for one of the kids, do just that. Be there. Relish the moment. And afterward, if you need to catch up on work emails at home, then allow yourself permission to do just that.
Be in the moment. Be where you are. Don’t try to be anywhere else.
Oh, but just in case, be sure to keep the ringer on your phone today. No one’s perfect. 😉