Why Milestone Days Are Extra Intense

This past weekend we celebrated my son’s First Communion. It was one of those days that just stop time in its tracks for a moment, when you pause to take it all in. It was a little overwhelming, honestly.

While we totally lucked out with perfect weather, and while I kept the party planning super simple, the day still came with its fair share of nerves and tension – for him as he carried a glass pitcher full of red wine to the altar (seriously, who does that to an 8 year old boy?!) and for us as we tied his tie and took his picture and stood by his side for this precious moment.

Milestone days are always a little extra intense, aren’t they? 

They feel bigger because they are. They demand more from us. They need our full attention. They’re what I’ve come to call Peak Performance days. If we try to treat them like an ordinary day, we may find ourselves testy, impatient, anxious, distracted. We risk missing the moment in a flurry of nervous energy.

But if we accept and honor them for what they are, if we give them what they deserve and demand, we can sail through them with our hearts full and our spirits in tact. I’ve written about this before and I thought today was a good time to share it again, along with a few bonus pics from First Communion.

To milestones!

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This week I spent a day outside my comfort zone, as the subject of a photo shoot to update the photography on my website. In truth it was actually only two hours, but as someone who barely tolerates the annual family Christmas photo, it seemed like an eternity and I literally felt it for days leading up to the big event. I was buzzing with some combination of adrenaline and cortisol and it was hard to settle into my normal daily routine. When the time finally came, I did my best to channel my inner Kardashian, and I think we got some great shots.

That said, I can promise you it took all the energy I had and the patience of two gifted photographers (and one amazing friend) to make it happen.

As luck would have it, on my drive to the location where we’d be shooting, I listened to a podcast that gave me a new  framework for processing the full body response I was experiencing in anticipation of this event. It asserted that what I might normally call fear or nerves could more productively be described as my body preparing itself for peak performance.

How’s that for a reframe??

By resisting the urge to suppress the feeling, and instead simply honoring it as a normal and predictable set of sensations gearing me up to go do my thing, I didn’t have to fight with it, so I could channel all of that extra energy into my performance.

I found this reframe to be incredibly helpful. It allowed me to stop feeling like I was getting it wrong (C’mon, this is supposed to be fun, not scary! What’s wrong with you?) and gave me a way to define the value this heightened state could bring.

You may not have a photo shoot in your future, but I’ll bet you have a day coming up that calls for peak performance. This day won’t be like every other ordinary day, and your body knows it. That’s exactly why it takes over.

To deliver peak performance, you need all of you. All of your brain power and physical energy must be harnessed in one direction toward a singular objective, not scattered across a mile-long to do list. No, on a peak performance day, you don’t need to be productive. You need to be focused.

When your body is taking over to help you perform (as evidenced by those butterflies in your stomach, quickened heart rate, sweaty palms, tapping toes, buzzing brain), you can’t do much else.You won’t do brilliant creative work or robust financial analysis. You might be able to check some small tasks off your to do list but that’s about it. Instead of getting a lot of things done, you get ready to do one thing well.

On peak performance days, you gear up. You get in the zone. You breathe. 

You’ll be forced into focus, because focus is what you need. 

Peak performance requires presence. 

Days when I have a speaking engagement are peak performance days for me. I learned a long time ago not to tackle big projects on those days because while I may only be on stage for an hour, my brain is on stage for most of the day. I’m gearing up mentally and physically, rehearsing phrases, envisioning the audience.

If I try to act like it’s a normal day, I’m kidding myself, and my work on stage suffers. But if I honor a speaking engagement for the peak performance moment it is, I can give it the attention it deserves and channel all my energy into producing something truly memorable for my audience.

Big milestone days for my children or my family are peak performance days for me, too. Christmas. First Communion. Graduation. The First Day of School.  They command my attention so that I won’t let them slide by unnoticed. I like the idea of viewing this as protective rather than unproductive.

So let’s do this. The next time you’re feeling distracted or antsy or extra buzzy, check in with your body. Is it gearing up for a peak performance moment and asking you to get focused on that one big thing?

If it is, pay attention. Your whole day depends on it.