Episode #428 – The myth of the “perfect choice”

This is episode 428 of the Brilliant Balance podcast. And today we’re talking about the myth of the perfect choice. So welcome back to the show, and happy new year.

If you are listening to this episode as it first goes live, you are standing at the beginning of a brand new year. It’s kind of that magical time when we have a blank calendar page in front of us and everything feels really fresh and new and filled with possibility. You’re staring down this series of opportunities that are waiting for you in the new year. And sometimes, if we’re honest, that can land like a lot of pressure.

Pressure to make the right choices, to do the best things, to make it the best year ever. And sometimes that pressure can bring us to paralysis—where we’re just standing on the front edge of the whole journey, unable to make the first move because we’re so worried it might not be exactly the right move. That’s the dynamic I want to talk about today. We’re going to talk about the myth of the perfect choice, why waiting for it keeps really smart, capable women (and men, I’m sure) stuck, and what you can do instead—so you can actually get moving this year and have the year you’re meant to have. That’s my wish for you as we enter this brand new year.

Here’s the pattern I see over and over again: perfectionism and procrastination arrive together, dressed up as being thoughtful or strategic. We tell ourselves things like, “Once I have more clarity, I’ll start,” or “I just need the right system—the planner system or the organization system.” Or, “If I choose the perfect first step, then everything else will unfold the way it’s supposed to.”

Maybe we don’t say these things out loud, but they’re rolling around in our minds somewhere. So we wait. We wait for the perfect moment to arrive. We stay frozen at the starting line, telling ourselves we’re being responsible by waiting to get it right. But we’re not.

The truth I want you to hear really clearly as we start this year is that there is almost never a perfect choice. Life doesn’t hand us a single magical option that guarantees everything will work out flawlessly.

In my experience, there are usually several good choices—sometimes very good choices—any one of which could move you forward if you just take it. But instead, we keep waiting for things to be magically exactly right. And waiting for the perfect option isn’t wise. It just keeps you stuck.

Think of it like standing at a door with a big key ring full of keys, examining each one and trying to figure out which key will unlock the door. You stand there matching them up, wondering and wondering—and it gets you nowhere. The path forward is to pick a key, put it in the lock, turn it, and see what happens. Run the experiment.

That’s the direction we want to head as we move into the year.

So let’s make this real. How does this show up in real life? You might notice it in your career. You might delay a project or a new initiative because you don’t have the perfect plan figured out—guilty as charged over here in my own company. Or in your personal life, you might put off an important conversation because you don’t have the perfect words. Or you might delay making a decision that could be great for you or your family because you’re not sure it’s exactly right.

This shows up in how we think about time and decision-making. We say things like, “Once things calm down,” or “Once I get through this season,” or “Once I figure this next thing out, then I’ll…” fill in the blank.

But if you pause for a second, you probably already know where this pattern is showing up for you—at work or at home. Ask yourself: where am I waiting for a perfect choice that might not actually exist? And because I don’t have the perfect one, I’m not making any choice at all.

The cost of waiting is real. Sometimes it’s subtle. Sometimes it’s a giant opportunity cost. Momentum fades when you stay stuck too long. Opportunities pass you by. And the longer you sit with a decision, the heavier and more intimidating it becomes.

I have a child graduating from high school this year who’s deciding where to go to college. That decision can feel incredibly heavy, like your whole life depends on it. And my belief is that there are usually several very good options.

I tell my kids this story all the time—probably more times than they care to hear. When I was graduating from college, I had a job offer in New York City. I went to school in New York, and that’s where most of my classmates were headed. I decided to take the summer off before starting work. I had graduated early and wanted to enjoy life for a few months. During that time, the New York job evaporated.

The company called and said they still had a job for me—but it would be in Atlanta, Dallas, or Tampa. I had to choose. I didn’t know anyone in any of those cities, and suddenly I felt pressure to make the perfect choice all over again.

That experience taught me there was no perfect answer—just a choice among good options. Life was shaped by that decision. I went to grad school in Atlanta. I met my husband there. I met my best friend there. But those things didn’t happen because Atlanta was the perfect choice. They happened because I made a choice and then made the most of it.

That’s the lesson here: movement creates clarity. You don’t get clarity upfront. You get it after you start. You don’t need to know exactly how something will turn out to begin.

So here’s a simple framework. First, recognize the myth. Notice when you’re waiting for perfection and name it. I see this in holiday gift-giving all the time—searching endlessly for the perfect gift instead of choosing one of many good options.

Second, identify good options. List a few solid paths forward instead of believing there’s only one right answer.

Third, pick one and start. Give yourself permission to act imperfectly. Momentum beats paralysis every time.

Fourth, steer as you go. Adjust once you’re in motion. You don’t need the whole map to take the first step. And often, you’re allowed to change your mind.

When you approach life this way, the pressure to “get it right” softens. You gain confidence, freedom, and forward motion. This plays out in decisions big and small.

I’d bet you’re experiencing this paralysis in small decisions every single week. When we don’t decide, we default to reacting—accepting whatever others put on our calendars, instead of making intentional choices.

That creates noise, pressure, and busyness that make it harder to think—and harder to make bigger decisions. That’s why I love helping women optimize their week. Your week is your life in miniature. It’s the perfect place to run experiments.

Many of us fall into one or more of these patterns: trying to squeeze more in, saying yes on autopilot, or expecting ourselves to function at the same pace even as life changes. Every woman I’ve ever coached has lived through this cycle.

So in January, I’m hosting a free live workshop called Make Your Week Work For You on January 21st at 1 p.m. Eastern. It’s designed to help you interrupt these patterns, understand the source of your overwhelm, and create space in your week without doing more.

You can register at brilliant-balance.com. Protect that hour for yourself—because something will try to take it.

As you step into this year, remember: the idea of a perfect choice is a myth. Progress comes from movement. You are allowed to begin without absolute certainty.

If this resonated with you, I’d love to have you join me live on January 21st. Until next time, keep choosing progress over perfection. I’ll see you next week on the show.