Some days you’ve just had it. One more thing is not going according to plan and all of a sudden it’s unbearable. Your frustration reaches the boiling point and you melt down. You raise the white flag. Maybe you yell. Maybe you cry. But you’re done. Just DONE. You know that something has to change.
A few weeks ago, I wrote about why it’s so important to admit it to ourselves when something isn’t working. (Here’s that post in case you missed it.) The post struck a chord, and lots of you asked….but what then?
What do you do once you’re clear that something has to change? 
What’s the first step?
When you’re not getting the results you want, you have to examine your rituals.
When you dig into the rituals connected to the area of your life that’s out of balance, you will almost always find that something has fallen out of place. You’ve stopped doing something you used to do. Or you’ve added something unhelpful that’s dragging you down. When you adjust your ritual, you’ll get your desired result.
As an example, let’s imagine that you’re unhappy with your weight. You’d ask yourself, “Which rituals in my life affect my weight?”
Before you roll your eyes and dismiss this question as too basic to be effective, let me clarify that it’s not usually the obvious answer that matters. Everybody knows diet and exercise are the likely culprits. To get to the heart of the issue, you need to double click on those big topics, looking for the cracks in the rituals that are hampering your results.
So, while what you eat certainly matters, so do where you eat and when and with whom. Where and how you buy and store your food. How you plan (or don’t plan) meals. Which foods you buy automatically each week to stock the fridge. What size plate you use. Where you sit (or don’t sit) when you eat. How quickly you eat. Whether or not you keep food in your car, or your bag, or your desk. What route you drive to and from work.
The answer to what’s standing between you and the results you want is buried in the nuances of your rituals. When you find the cracks, you can fix them.
Change your rituals and change your outcome.
You can apply this exact same approach when your finances are out of line, or when your house is out of order or when your marriage is in trouble. It works when your career is off track or your spiritual life is flat or you’re in a creative slump.
It’s the rituals.
If you’re frustrated with an area of your life, identify the rituals supporting it. Examine them deeply. Find the cracks and work to repair them. Find the holes and work to fill them. Find the oversights and pay attention to them.
If you want a better life you need better rituals.
Note: If this hits home and you want to clear a little space to re-examine your rituals with an objective thought partner, then let’s talk. I hold six spots a month on my calendar for highly motivated women who are ready to get serious about addressing what’s not working for them. These free sessions are designed to jump start your life design process to forge a new path forward. If you’d like to claim one of these spots, you can get the details here.
