Episode #384 – From Cynical to Curious – stop shutting the door on good opportunities

This is episode 384 of the Brilliant Balance podcast: From Cynical to Curious – Stop Shutting the Door on Good Opportunities. Welcome back to the show!

I’m so glad you tuned in today because if you did, you probably find that you have a tendency to shut the door—maybe prematurely—on what could be a really good opportunity.

Before we even get into today’s content, take a moment for a little personal inventory. Think about a recent time when an opportunity or idea crossed your path.

Maybe it was a business idea that someone brought up at work. Maybe it was an investment opportunity. Maybe it was a personal growth opportunity. Maybe it was something you could buy online, like a product you saw on Instagram. Maybe it was an idea your kids brought to you—something they wanted to do, have, or try as a family.

Opportunities cross our paths all the time from all directions. While we seek some of them out, many more seem to appear by happenstance. We didn’t ask for them—they just show up, and we have to decide: Are we going to say yes or no? Are we going to embrace the opportunity or dismiss it?

The fact that we have to make that decision illustrates that we each have different default responses. So, what is your default?

In parenting, kids often recognize the “default no” parent and the “default yes” parent. They know exactly who to go to first. In the workplace, the same dynamic exists. On a team of leaders, some people are easier to persuade than others. Some people have a naturally high “default no.”

Check in with yourself: Where is your default? Do you find that you are more likely to accept or reject new ideas or opportunities?

The reality is that we tend to respond to new opportunities in one of three ways. I want to explore each of these so you can identify where you fall and learn how to shift if you find that your default setting is causing you to miss out.

The Three Response Types

The first response—the one at the extreme “default no” end of the spectrum—is cynicism.

Cynics slam the door shut. Picture a child ringing a doorbell to sell tickets for a fundraiser. The cynic’s response is an immediate, “Nope, not interested,” followed by the door closing. Cynicism assumes that every opportunity is a scam, a trick, or too good to be true.

Cynics believe they are protecting themselves. They assume the worst about every opportunity and every person presenting one. They might think, People like me don’t get breaks like this. I bet there’s a catch.

This approach can feel like a protective shield, but in reality, it becomes a cage.

The Costs of Cynicism

Cynicism has very real costs. When we move through the world wrapped in our own protective cage, we reject both actual scams and genuine opportunities. We filter out everything, missing out on career advancements, business ventures, investment opportunities, and new perspectives.

Cynicism also strains relationships. If you assume that everyone has a hidden motive, it’s difficult to build meaningful connections. People may stop offering support, guidance, or encouragement if they know their efforts will be rejected.

Another significant cost is the loss of wonder and awe. When cynicism is your default, you always expect the worst. Life becomes a battleground rather than an adventure. That hyper-vigilance leads to increased stress, anxiety, and even burnout.

Cynicism can also diminish your influence. People don’t want to follow a cynic. Leaders who shoot down every idea stifle creativity, collaboration, and morale.

At first, cynicism may feel like a form of self-protection, but in the long run, it limits growth and opportunity.

If we move slightly away from cynicism, we reach skepticism.

Skepticism is like a guarded door—not slammed shut, but not wide open either. A skeptic is cautious but not completely dismissive.

We often hear the phrase healthy skepticism, and it’s true—skeptics don’t immediately reject ideas, but they hesitate before committing. They want data, proof, and validation before proceeding. They see themselves as pragmatic, prudent, and responsible.

A skeptic might say to a cynic, At least hear them out! But they would also caution an open-minded person, Whoa, slow down! Let’s make sure this is a smart decision.

The Costs of Skepticism

While skepticism is far better than cynicism, it still has drawbacks. Skeptics tend to miss first-mover advantage. By waiting for proof, they may join opportunities too late—or miss them altogether.

Another cost is losing faith in intuition. Some decisions—like choosing a university or a spouse—can’t be made through pure data. If we override our instincts in favor of data-driven decision-making alone, we lose a valuable internal guide.

Skepticism can also lead to overthinking. Analyzing every decision takes mental energy and time, often leading to unnecessary stress. A simple invitation to an event turns into researching the speaker, reading reviews, and weighing pros and cons.

It can also diminish spontaneity and adventure. Skeptics struggle with uncertainty, preferring to know the outcome in advance. Because of this, they may avoid spontaneous trips, new hobbies, or unexpected opportunities.

Ironically, skeptics pride themselves on making smart decisions, but sometimes they overanalyze themselves right out of great opportunities.

At the other end of the spectrum is open-mindedness.

Open-mindedness is like an open door. The default mode here is curiosity.

Curiosity means examining an opportunity from different angles. It means staying open to learning without immediately accepting or rejecting something.

Yes, there’s a difference between being open-minded and being naive. Open-mindedness doesn’t mean saying yes to everything—it means being willing to ask the right questions.

Shifting Toward Open-Mindedness

Some questions that can help cultivate curiosity include:

• What excites me about this?
• How does this feel?
• What’s the best-case scenario?
• What would success look like?
• What would have to be true for this to be a great idea?
• What are the risks of saying yes? What are the risks of saying no?
• Who else has done this, and what was their experience?
• Does this align with my bigger vision?

Curiosity isn’t about making an immediate decision—it’s about gathering insight. Each question helps move you toward or away from an opportunity.

The biggest barriers to curiosity are fear and time pressure. Fear often leads to an automatic no because we’re afraid of what happens if we say yes. And when we feel rushed, we default to inaction—hoping time will make the decision for us.

To stay open-minded, give yourself permission to explore. Set a reasonable amount of time to evaluate an opportunity and balance data, experience, and intuition.

Lead with curiosity and temper it with discernment. Avoid both extremes—cynicism (no to everything) and carelessness (yes to everything). Instead, aim for curiosity combined with discernment. That’s where growth happens.

That’s all for today! If something in this episode resonated with you, I’d love to hear about it. Send me a DM on Instagram at @CSkolnicki or leave a review with your thoughts.

And if this episode made you think of a friend, colleague, or family member, forward it to them! It’s a great way to introduce someone new to the show.

Thanks for listening. Until next time, let’s be brilliant.