Episode #346 – What Happens When Women Invest in Themselves

Today we’re talking about what happens when women invest in themselves. As I kick off this episode, I am sitting where I record the podcast with a brand new setup in front of me. It’s a bit of an augmented setup from what I traditionally have. You may or may not believe this, but for the entire 345 episodes up until now, my setup has really consisted of just my laptop and my microphone. This trusty laptop has been upgraded a few times over the years, but it’s a very simple MacBook that I’ve used in various versions. My microphone hooks directly into the laptop, and that’s it. That’s been my podcasting setup. It’s very simple.

This week, friends, I added three important pieces to the setup: an external monitor next to the laptop, an external keyboard, and an external mouse. I hope you are rolling your eyes right now. I hope you either laugh or spit your coffee out or, at a minimum, rolled your eyes when you heard me say that because it is, objectively, somewhat ridiculous that it is 2024 as I record this episode, and I am just now adding these accessories to my tech setup for my office.

It was so striking to me when I was thinking about how I wanted to open today’s episode and get into this topic about investing in ourselves. This literally happened this week after I already had this episode scoped. I made the decision to buy these things and hook them up, and I have to tell you, I feel like I am living in the future over here. You might be thinking you’ve been living in that version of the future for many years now. But as someone who has just experienced the magic of multiple screens for the first time and who now has her hands at the right level on the keyboard and everything working perfectly, I am sitting here wondering what has taken me this long. Honestly, what has been the resistance to doing this? This would have been an easy and obvious decision for someone in my line of work a long, long time ago.

Yet, this is a pattern that is not just for me. I bet if you asked yourself, you would find places in your life, in your home, in your closet where you’d say, “Wow, I can’t believe I haven’t made this investment yet.” This is a universal truth that all of us can recognize in ourselves somewhere in our lives.

I see this pattern over and over again with women. We readily invest time and money in other people—people we love, our families, our friends, our teams—but not in ourselves. Our brains are geared towards considering the benefit to others—our spouse, our partner, our teammates, our children—of the purchase or investment we are about to make. We think about summer camps, birthday gifts, equipment for our teams, and experiences we want others to have, often adopting a “spare no expense” attitude to the extent that we can when taking care of others. We think about the benefit and not the cost. However, when it comes to investing in ourselves, we focus on the cost and not the benefit. We think, “Oh my God, I can’t. It’s not worth it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it yet. I don’t need it now. I don’t need that version of it.” We talk ourselves out of things.

By the way, this is absolutely agnostic of income level. I know people who make a lot of money and still have this challenge, and I know people who do not make a lot of money and have this challenge. This is universal and transcends income levels. Yet, when we, as a collective of women, invest in ourselves, we learn very important lessons that there may be no other way to learn. It reinforces truths that we might be having a hard time adopting. In fact, the reason we aren’t making the investments may be more about myths, false beliefs, and limiters that we need to unlearn. I’m going to share what they are through the lens of what we learn when we make these investments.

First, we learn that we don’t have to know it all. It is okay to invest in expertise. A classic example would be when we hire an expert to teach us something, allowing us to go faster than if we were trying to learn it ourselves. For example, if we have a nutritionist, they can break down how to feed ourselves in a way that keeps us healthy. This investment is a shortcut that helps us acquire knowledge we wouldn’t have on our own. The same goes for a personal trainer. A personal trainer can teach us how to structure workouts, which order to do exercises, how many reps, what weights to use, and which equipment to bring in. A stylist can help put clothes together in a way that looks great on us, acknowledging that fashion might not be our area of expertise.

Investments don’t have to be big. Think about the investments you’ve made in books over the years. I have spent a small fortune on books over my lifetime, especially in my early twenties when I traveled a lot for work. I bought books on personal development, business, and finance, learning by making those investments. We also invest in seminars, workshops, and conferences where we learn from experts at a more elevated or extensive level. We might take courses in real estate investment, digital marketing, or cryptocurrency. Therapists, too, help us understand how our minds work, something we were not taught in our education.

Coaches across various spectrums—business, executive, life, and health coaches—invest in their development to transfer their knowledge to us. They meet us where we are and help us get to where we want to go. This first lesson teaches us that we don’t have to know everything; we can invest in acquiring knowledge.

The second lesson is that we don’t have to do it all. We can make investments that multiply our time. The most prevalent example is hiring a housekeeper or someone to help clean at home. This investment allows us to reclaim our time. We also invest in lawn care, having someone mow the lawn or handle plants and trees. Childcare is another common investment for those who work full-time or close to it.

There are less common investments that can also help us remember we don’t have to do it all by ourselves. Some women invest in meal prep services like Hello Fresh or Blue Apron, personal shoppers, or even personal assistants. My early boss in my corporate life had a household manager to handle things at home so she could spend time with her kids and focus on her demanding job.

At work, outsourcing support became more mainstream with Tim Ferriss’s “The 4-Hour Workweek,” which introduced the idea of hiring virtual assistants. Websites like Fiverr and Upwork allow us to outsource project-based work, helping us realize we don’t have to do everything ourselves. By making these investments, we get time back and enjoy the benefits of tasks being done efficiently by experts.

The third lesson is that we are allowed to live a little. It’s okay to make investments that make our lives more pleasurable. This includes buying good coffee, wine, cheese, or gluten-free bread—the small pleasures that remind us we are worth it. We can also invest in skincare and beauty products, clothing that fits well and feels great, and technology that makes life easier.

Little luxuries, like fresh flowers, remind us that we can treat ourselves. Experiences like concerts, plays, sporting events, and great haircuts also fall into this category. We don’t have to settle for the most cost-effective option all the time. It’s about allowing ourselves to enjoy life.

These investments don’t have to be big or expensive. They can be small but meaningful, reminding us that we are worth it. By learning that we don’t have to know it all, do it all, and that we are allowed to live a little, we enable ourselves to do more with our time and enjoy life more.

So, I want to ask you: What is a tangible way you might invest in yourself this week? Maybe something I said today prompted an idea for you. When you find yourself resisting, challenge yourself to think about why. Ask yourself if there is something you might learn from making this investment that will benefit you for years to come. I hope you do it.

That’s all for today, my friends. Until next time, let’s be brilliant.