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Is your spouse last on your Valentine’s Day List? Try this.

February 8, 2022

I’m Cherylanne.
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Valentine’s Day is next week – can you believe it? Tell me all about the romantic evening you have planned with your spouse to celebrate…and GO!

Oh wait, there is no romantic evening planned?

If you’re like me, your Valentine’s Day might look more like heart-shaped pancakes in the morning with the kids, and then a simple glass of wine on the couch in the evening with your partner. Low-key and cozy, with just a sprinkle of celebration mixed in.

Because face it – you have a lot going on. And all that stuff you’re seeing at Target, shouting love from the rooftops, might be making you feel a little bit anxious about how you’re gonna fit in a celebration of Valentine’s Day. Even if you’re not even particularly drawn to the chocolates and champagne and hearts that you see around you. 

But remember when you and your spouse first fell in love? They were definitely at the top of your priority list back then. You would spend hours, days, even weeks making holidays like Valentine’s Day just right. 

But years later, when life and jobs and kids get in the way, when the initial spark evolves into a more sustainable, comfortable and cozy sheen, how do we continue to keep each other at the top of our priority list?

Here’s one simple idea that is budget-friendly and doesn’t require reservations.

I call it “Eye-to-Eye Time”.

It simply involves this: sitting down across a table from each other, face to face. That’s it. That’s all.

It could be as easy as having your morning coffee together, instead of both grabbing a coffee and running out the door. It could be sitting down in the evening after dinner to have a conversation at the table with the two of you. It could be just turning off the TV and putting your phones down to have a conversation.

To make this work, there are three main rules:

  1. Put away all the devices. All of them. 
  2. Make sure it’s a 2-way conversation. Take time to listen to your partner, and vice versa. 
  3. It’s about frequency, not length. It doesn’t have to be a four-hour marathon conversation. Small bursts – ten minutes, five minutes, 15 minutes every day could be more impactful than one big date night. 

If you haven’t done this with each other in a while, I’ll warn you that it might be awkward at first. This is not a red flag! You’re just out of practice. Keep at it and you’ll be amazed at how the intimacy grows between you. And when I say intimacy, I mean the stuff we really yearn for – that heart to heart connection that you feel as a result of being seen and heard and understood. 

In the end, Valentine’s Day is not really about the chocolates and the flowers and the bottles of champagne. It’s about that connection with your partner – making sure you still know each other. 

So if you’re like me and your Valentine’s Day plans only involve a glass of wine with your partner, know that it’s ok – just take it to the kitchen table and try these tips. Maybe I will, too. After all, prioritizing each other is the best gift we can give to our partners this year. 



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