Episode #421 – Become the next version of you: The Enneagram Revisited with Heather Warnke

Cherylanne Skolnicki:

I am Cherylanne Skolnicki, and this is Brilliant Balance, the show for those of us who still dare to want it all, who have big dreams and bold ambitions. I think we deserve to have a big full life and the freedom to enjoy it. So let’s design our next chapter together for brilliance, not burnout. Each week I’ll bring ideas, insight, and a fresh perspective to keep you growing into a life that feels as good as it looks brilliant. Balance your life your way. Now let’s get started. This is episode 421 of the Brilliant Balance Podcast. Become the next version of you, the Enneagram Revisited with Heather Warnke. So if you are a longtime listener of the show, you’ve probably heard me talk about the Enneagram before. It is absolutely one of my favorite tools for self-awareness and personal growth. I have been a devotee of Enneagram for years.

But recently I went through the experience of having my type reevaluated and let’s just say it was AOP opening. I had always identified with one particular Enneagram type from like the very first time that I took the very first assessment. But after really taking a deeper look at this with the help of the woman who is in fact our newest brilliant balance coach and a certified Enneagram coach, Heather Warnke, I discovered that I actually resonate much more strongly with a different type. And honestly this new understanding has been like humbling in some ways and also really liberating. So today I’m bringing Heather onto the show to help unpack that experience and really to help all of us understand what happens when we finally find the type that feels like home for us. So we’re gonna talk about why the Enneagram can be such a powerful lens for personal growth and I think also professional growth and what makes the version of the assessment that she uses a little different.

And then most importantly, how understanding your correct type can really completely change the way that you see yourself and also the way that you lead and love and live like and move through the world. So if you have ever taken the Enneagram and wonder, did I get this right? Or if maybe it hasn’t resonated fully with you, like something about it is just not sticking or you’ve never taken it at all and you’re just curious about what all the buzz is about, this conversation is going to give you a whole new perspective. So let’s jump in and welcome Heather to the show. Heather, I am so glad that you’re here today.

Heather Warnke:

Thank you Cherylanne, I’m so excited to be here.

CS:

It’s gonna be amazing. You are bringing such depth to the brilliant balance bench in all the ways, right? I think your role as our newest coach is so exciting. It’s really, it’s such a fun chapter to be walking through with you, but particularly what you are bringing to the party around the Enneagram.

HW:

Awesome. Yeah. I have found, through the 10 years that I’ve been working with it, it has really just transformed my relationship with myself, most importantly. Yes. And now as a framework for my coaching work. Yes.

CS:

So for people who don’t know you yet, yeah. Can you start by sharing a little bit about your background and what kind of drew you to this kind of work, both coaching and the use of the Enneagram specifically?

HW:

Yeah. So my background is actually a scientific engineering background. I have a chemical engineering degree, which most people don’t know about me. I started my career in product development and I think that’s what really drives my value of curiosity. Like always wanting to get to the source of why mm-hmm <affirmative>. Like not just solving the problems at the surface, but really understanding like what are the root causes? And that really energizes me. And then I followed a background not next is really in sales and marketing. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. So I’ve had a 30 year career. I just recently left, um, my corporate career of 20 years working for a large consumer products company. I was a general manager, but my passion was always leading people and really the discovery of my Enneagram type as a type two, which is a caregiver mm-hmm <affirmative>. Of learning, you know, the benefits of being a heart-centered leader and the value that can bring, but also the pitfalls that there are with being a heart-centered leader and not maybe being the same type as other leaders, which yes, maybe tend to be more threes achievers or eights controllers. Our society tends to put a lot of value around certain types as leaders.

CS:

A hundred percent. And I, it’s, I think it’s amazing that you just said, you know, you claimed your type as a two. And I was immediately thinking, I’m definitely gonna need to link this episode to some of the previous episodes that I’ve done where we unpack all the different types. If people are listening like, oh my God, we’re already inside baseball and I dunno what she’s talking about, maybe we should take one step back and just do a really brief re like the two to five minute version of what is the Enneagram. Yep. And like the basic construct, which I know you’re really well equipped to share.

HW:

Yeah, absolutely. So the Enneagram is what we would call a personality test. However, the difference with the Enneagram is it gets below the surface Yes. To the why. So what are the why’s behind our behaviors? ’cause it’s our core motivation or our purpose. And there are nine types and they’re broken up into three. So the eight, nine and one are in the gut or action center while two, three, and four are in the heart or feeling center. And the five, six, and seven are in the head or the thinking center.

CS:

Okay. So head, heart, and gut are the three centers. Yep. There’s three numbers associated with each of those three centers for nine in total. And people when they go through this assessment are given a dominant number or a primary number as their type.

HW:

Yep, exactly. Okay. And then they get, they’re given their center of expression, head, heart, and gut. And that’s not always the type that resonates with them. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. So if you are two like myself, it falls in the heart center. I naturally am more of a feeling person, but because of the messages of society or the roles that we’ve played and how we’ve been received, that might change.

CS:

Yes. So I think for people who’ve been through the assessment in any form, right, from any of the different providers, probably, what you would know about yourself is your number. So if you’re listening and you’re like, okay, do I know my Enneagram number? That is your dominant type, your primary type, that’s gonna really identify the motivations behind a lot of your behavior. So we’re always saying in Enneagram, like, you might see multiple people exhibiting the same behavior, but if they’re in different types, the motivation underneath that behavior can be very different. Yes. Yeah.

HW:

And that’s how it really is. I’m able to, through my work, really understand the differences when people show up, and we’ll start, we’ll talk about you Cheryl, right? Mm-hmm <affirmative>. If we have these behaviors so we can distri, you know, display behaviors, but that might not be our motivation. Right? But we have behaviors of all of the nine types.

CS:

That’s right. And I think, you know, I’ve been doing Enneagram assessments with women in our bold circle, which some of the listeners have heard me talk about for years. And it has been off, I mean, back in the day I remember doing Myers-Briggs and we’ve done disc training and we’ve done, there’s so many different assessments. Nothing has ever been more illustrative in my work with clients than Enneagram. And I know that’s true for you as well. So much so that you went on to become an Enneagram certified coach. So can you talk a little bit about that path from, from your corporate life now that we’ve taken a little detour back to how, what made you decide to go become a coach and ultimately sp like specialize Wow. Speak today, um, in the Enneagram?

HW:

Yeah. So for me, like you said, I’ve taken all those different tests all along the 30 year journey and nothing stuck with me like the Enneagram because it truly is a map of self-awareness. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. I find it, it’s a treasure chest of learnings, right? And anytime I’m faced with something uncomfortable and challenging, it is the one tool that I always go back to. Like, what is my home? What is my starting point? What do I instinctively want to do here? What am I doing to protect myself? And the answers are always there because it’s your true self. It really is about finding your true essence and what is unconscious, which we’ll talk about, and how do we bring that unconscious to the forefront to a more conscious state so we can take action.

CS:

Yes. So I think what we’re gonna do today, what we talked about in advance is we’re gonna use my experience of being retyped with you as my guide as like the through line here. But, we’ll, I want, really, my intent is that everyone listening can find herself in this episode. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. So I went through the Enneagram assessment again a number of years ago and have spent a fair amount of time identifying with a certain type. I thought I was three. And I, and that felt pretty good to me. Like there were a lot of things about the three that resonated. Some of my colleagues would say, you’re the threes three that ever three, you know, that’s like there really, I think there’s a lot about my external behavior that people would observe and it made sense to them, but, but something about it always like itched a little bit to me and didn’t feel exactly right. Not enough that I was desperate to be retyped, but it just didn’t feel exactly right. So when you and I crossed paths and we were bringing you into the Brilliant balance team and we started working together, I went through a different assessment, a more robust assessment, and then had this unpacking work done with you. And by the, I mean, I dunno what your recollection of it was, but by the end of it, it was like, oh, I have a different type.

HW:

Yeah. Well, the interesting thing, Sheri, is actually, well there’s two things. First of all, when you and I reconnected and I asked you like, you’re an Enneagram three, right? Like, that’s my recollection of what you’ve shared with me. That’s right. My initial instinct was like, wow, I typically gravitate towards eights. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. So that was my first instinct. Yes. So I was like, oh, this is gonna be interesting. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. And then second I shared the Enneagram assessment with you. You took it, I received the results right away. I was not, I was not surprised at the results. And I believe your instinct was, ’cause you wrote me right away, I like, I this

CS:

Is gonna come out. It’s an eight. Yeah. <laugh>. Exactly.

HW:

Yes.

CS:

And that’s what happens, y’all, once you know the different types, you kind of can start to see, I guess in the questions like where it might be leading. And I had had one other experience, which is, I had had coffee with a very dear friend I’ve known for 30 years, and she’s a mentor, somebody I used to work with. And she said, you’re an eight, right? Mm-hmm <affirmative>. And I said, no, I’m, I’m three. And she’s like, she gave me a little raised eyebrow. Yeah. And so it was interesting that I had sort of all those things happening around the same time. So when I took the assessment, I thought, this is not gonna come out as a three, but I didn’t get my score. It went straight to you.

HW:

Yeah. Yeah.

CS:

And then when we had our unpacking session, you asked a lot of questions before you shared anything about how, and what the assessment had returned. You asked a lot of questions, which I found super helpful. Tell me about that part of the process.

HW:

Yeah. ’cause it’s really important that people resonate with their type, right? Mm-hmm <affirmative>. Because I think society tells us there’s types that feel right or wrong, but there’s no right or wrong. And I think that is because in some, you know, situations, certain types and behaviors do get promoted or acknowledged or rewarded because those are the behaviors that we want to see. And so I think in society, especially for a woman mm-hmm <affirmative>. And to kind of clarify, an A is an act of controller. Yes. <laugh>. So right there, putting that label active controller does not feel

CS:

Good. No,

HW:

It doesn’t feel favorable. Mm. And especially for women in our society. But those are messages around the type mm-hmm <affirmative>. So a competitive achiever feels more acceptable,

CS:

Socially acceptable. Sure.

HW:

Yeah. Exactly. Like, so Cheryl Ann just, you know, has all of these competitive things. And so she could use that as a, well, I’m just competitive mm-hmm <affirmative>. Right. And that sounds better than, oh, ’cause I wanna be in control.

CS:

Right, right. Although if, again, people who knew me through coaching, like if you’re on the inside of the Brilliant Balance community, and you’re involved in one of our coaching circles, you’ve heard me say, I like to control a whole bunch. Right. It’s like my cute little way of blowing this off is, oh, I like to control a whole bunch. And I know that there’s a lot of women inside of our community who also say like, I like to be in control. It makes me feel safe. It’s a, like, I’m, I feel like I can handle it better than other people. And so it’s a very typical kind of characteristic to women who end up inside of our coaching community. Yep. But I always blew it off as like, oh, it’s like a little joke, you know? Versus really owning it as, no, that’s, that runs pretty deep for me.

HW:

Yeah. And I mean, I truly believe it’s so important for us to understand who we are. Like what is our purpose? Why are, why, why are we here? What is that essence? And being able to own that mm-hmm <affirmative>. Because really growth starts from that point. Mm-hmm <affirmative>.

CS:

And, you know, I remember you saying something that we often, when we go through tests, we test who we think we need to be rather than who we actually are. And I wonder, is that something that leads to this kind of misidentification?

HW:

Um, yeah. I mean, we’ll see people take it and resonate with the type that might be their bosses, because it’s like, we think that’s what success looks like, is to be this type. And so we’ll respond to those questions. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. In what we think. We’ll also respond based on the different roles. ’cause we’ll be like, well, I’m more like in charge at work, but at home I’m more of a nurturer. And so we’ll answer it in different ways,

CS:

Different context

HW:

We think. Right? Yes. So we might respond to, if it comes, if you were asked to do the Enneagram at work, you might respond to what you think through that lens. But the reality is we’re supposed to be responding to it as our whole self. Whole self.

CS:

Well, there’s the rub, right. ’cause I think for so many women, finding your whole self is problematic. Yeah. We tend to sort of split our identities into these various roles that we play. And we have different identities and different roles. So reintegrating those into one governing like archetype, I think is a, that’s a whole host of challenges you and I are working through and coaching with people. Yeah,

HW:

Absolutely. But freedom comes when we can show up as our whole self. Yeah. And obviously like we’re gonna, you know, lean into different strengths, you know, whether we’re showing up in a boardroom or at home, but it’s like having different strategies, you know? Yes. And still being ourselves.

CS:

So when somebody finally lands on, or maybe you get it right on the first try, hopefully. Right. Yeah. When, when someone lands on their type in the Enneagram, what, what do you think shifts for them? What happens ? You said there’s deep self-awareness in this. Like what have been some things that you’ve seen open up for people once they come home to a type?

HW:

Oh, I mean, I say it’s like once you know you can’t unknow mm-hmm <affirmative>. Right? It’s like one sad thing happens, there’s an immediate shift. Like I experience, I can feel it in the person. There’s like a deep sense of knowing like someone really sees me and knows who I truly am. Because most often it’s, we are born like that, like if we go back and I do a lot of work with, when I’m doing the discovery session, going back to childhood mm-hmm <affirmative>. Talking about, you know, what were the messages that we received about ourselves as children. You know, were we told we could be ourselves? We were told, no, you’re too much. You’re, you’re, or you’re too quiet. Like you need to speak up. Like we have a lot of,

CS:

I’ve definitely never told Heather that I was too quiet. I know,

HW:

I know, right? Yeah. But like, those are the messages that we receive that then either nurtures our true essence mm-hmm <affirmative>. Or stifles it and tells us to be smaller mm-hmm <affirmative>. Right. And that’s the trend I really see with most women is to be smaller. Yes.

CS:

That they were told some version of be smaller, be quieter, be Yes. And less competitive. Again, I think that sometimes like attracts like, so a lot of the women who we, who we end up coaching inside the brilliant balance community are these kind of big and ambitious. Mm-hmm. Like big personality driven, big dreams kind of people, which matches my energy. And so many of them have been told like, it’s too much. You people cannot handle you. You’re a lot. And, and those get, those messages start very early and we start shrinking back and becoming smaller versions of ourselves so that what we’re more likable is that kind of the underlying we

HW:

Fit in. That we feel good we belong, we don’t make others look bad. Right. And we’re told that that’s our responsibility rather a hundred

CS:

Percent

HW:

Rather than just being our true selves. And so, you know, this work is really shining a light on ourselves and the box we put ourselves in. And I think that’s what’s amazing about it. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. But also can feel frustrating ’cause it’s like I put myself here Yes. But I can get myself out.

CS:

Well, at some point, I mean, it might have started that someone else was telling us and putting us in that box. They had a lot of, you know, control or influence when we were young, but at a certain point we’re like that baby elephant that could yank the stake out. But we haven’t done it. Yeah. We’re still circling the same little tether because we were conditioned to do just that, you know? Yeah. And I think it’s wild deep, regardless, we’re not gonna get into all the types in this episode. Yeah. But we can talk a little bit about the two since it’s your home type and Yes. Um, the contrast between a three and an eight, but I think something, a lot of things started to make sense for me when we got this typing, right? Mm-hmm <affirmative>. And the same behavior was interpreted through a different lens.

CS:

So this is gonna be a little bit of inside baseball for people who really do kind of work with the Enneagram. I thought I was a three with a two wing, right? And so this wing thing, if you’re not as familiar with the Enneagram won’t make sense. But the two wings kind of lean, I kept thinking like, oh, I’m leaning into this caretaker role. Yep. It’s my two wings that’s making me wanna take care of people. But in an eight construct, what I’ve learned is that it’s a protector role that there’s this sense of looking for who’s vulnerable and how can I use my strength to protect those people. Yeah. And I will tell you, the behavior from the outside looks the same. Right? Yep. You still see me sort of veering off course a little bit to say like, well, I gotta go catch these people who appear to not be able to, you know mm-hmm <affirmative>. Keep up or they seem vulnerable, or, you know, could be my children. But the real motivation for that is to kind of rise into strength as a protector. Can you talk about maybe other places in the Enneagram where you get those like the same behavior, different motivation?

HW:

Yeah, absolutely. We get that a lot, you know, with the three and the one, right? Mm-hmm <affirmative>. Like, you know, competing is different, right? Like, I am competing because I want to win and I want to be better than someone else, right? Yes. Or the one who is the perfectionist is about themselves. Yes. Like, I need to be better for me, like it’s an inner critic motivation. Yeah. Right? They’re hard on themselves versus the three is much more external validation. I need to beat somebody, I need to win, you know, this race and be better than that person. Yes. Those are very similar behaviors, but very different inner voices.

CS:

Inner voice. Yes. And so you, you can see if you’re listening, like you, this is why it’s so dangerous to ever say, oh, I bet that person’s, uh, fill in the number. Right? Right. Because what you don’t know is what’s dr. You can see the external behavior, but you don’t know what’s driving that behavior. And that’s the key inside of the Enneagram is really what is the fear, the core fear for each type. And, and can you talk a little bit about that?

HW:

Yeah. It’s really our fear that drives us, right? Mm-hmm <affirmative>. Because that’s when we start putting these protection mechanisms in place. And these coping strategies and those coping strategies end up becoming what keeps us small and keeps us in these habitual patterns that keeps us safe and protected. Right? And it can feel good at first, but it’s really what’s most limiting for us because then we’re driven by fear.

CS:

Yes. Did you know that beyond hosting this podcast, I also directly support women leaders at the intersection of work and life As a member of bold, you get direct access to me, the women on my team, and a peer group of exceptional women who are rewriting the rules and redefining what it means to have it all together. Go to brilliant balance.com/bold to learn more and apply for your spot today. And I think getting underneath that and bringing a sense of self-compassion and non-judgmental energy to it. Like whenever you know what you’re type, I think a lot of times we think, Ugh, I don’t wanna be this type. Right? Yeah. I wish I were this other type. And the, but finding the self-compassion to say, if I were to honor that this is my wiring, right? This is how my best version of myself is going to be a healthy expression of this type. Not switching to some other type. Just right. Finding the healthiest expression of this type. I know for me that’s unlocked a lot of self-compassion and also it explained patterns that I never really fully understood. Do you see that a lot when people get to their type?

HW:

Oh my god, it’s like an unleashing right. And un bridling I know for you, right? Mm-hmm <affirmative>. Of course, it becomes extremely expensive. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. When they can honor who they are and what they’re, I mean the reality is they all have, every single type has limitless potential. Like we all have. But when we own it, right? Like when we own that this is me, these are my passions, these are my strengths, these are my gifts, but I need to leverage them for the best intention.

CS:

Totally. So let’s go to the process a little bit. Yeah. Because clearly I had a lot of really great experiences with this. Yeah. When you take somebody through this, you start with the online assessment and they go through that. Tell me about the importance of having the conversations that follow it. Because a lot of people may have taken an online test and think, okay, I know my type. What do you think gets added to the experience with the, the conversations and the coaching that come with it?

HW:

Yeah, I think I’ll, so some of the online tests will get you to kind of like the top three types and then you can kind of choose which one. And I think, you know, that right there says it, it’s like you’re putting your left messages behind of which one you like best. Versus this conversation is like owning what you are. And that, you know, like we said, that there’s one type that may not seem, but sharing with people that there is no type that’s better than the other. They’re all equal. They all have strengths and they all have areas of opportunity. They all have shadows. And we cannot avoid our shadow, right? It can be a cloudy day and our shadow doesn’t appear, but the shadow is always going to be there. So no matter what we do, it’s gonna be with us forever. And so the journey that I do is I, I receive their coaching companion and their report and I walk them through this process and I have a series of questions that talks to ’em about their relationship, you know, with purpose, with topics like vulnerability, protection, loyalty, success. Right. And getting their messages behind those things to find out like what they embrace versus what they reject based on what they believe and what they’ve been told. Right. Oh,

CS:

Interesting. Say more about that. Like what would be a message that might shift?

HW:

Yeah, a message that might shift is like, exactly like control. Like control. Like I feel safe when I’m in control. Right? You say like, we hear that from our clients, right? But would they say that out loud, like in a corporate boardroom? Or would they say like, I feel V vulnerable right now, or vulnerability is strength. They’re not gonna say those things ’cause it’s not acceptable. But really owning that and then them sharing that message of like, being in control, being vulnerable is actually our courage. It’s our greatest asset.

CS:

Yes. And so when you talk about the shadow it is always there. Say more about that.

HW:

Yeah. Like the reality is like we all, each one of the types has shadows. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. Like everyone has a shadow. Like this is what you know, is my trap, is my pitfall that I can fall into. So the goal of the work is for us to highlight what are our natural strengths when we’re in our best self, in our best essence. So for me it’s that giving, right? It’s like giving to others. When I give to others, I receive this tremendous feeling back to me. But the shadow side is when I give to others and I don’t give to myself or I don’t know how to receive. Yes. Like truly knowing how to receive. That is the shadow side of the two. There’s always, and,

CS:

And so you could think of the shadow as like the, like every strength overdeveloped can become a weakness. Might be another way to think about this for the listener that, you know, this giving nature of the two, they’re natural caretakers can lead to almost like martyrdom where they’re exhausted and depleted because nothing is ever coming back. Relationships can become one-sided. And so that’s maybe the, maybe a watch out is a way to think about that language. Yeah.

HW:

There’s always a vice with it. Right. Okay. And the vice for like the two is pride. So then it becomes, oh, I pride myself on knowing everybody and giving people, so then it actually turns into manipulation. Yes. Right. When it’s over expressed and not with the purest of intentions.

CS:

So in every Enneagram type, and I think this is important, again, if you’re newer to the tool there you can have a healthy to an unhealthy expression. There’s like a spectrum. Yes. And so while there’s no good or bad type, there are healthy and unhealthy ways of expressing every type. And I think you could even maybe, uh, these are my words, you can correct me if I’m wrong, but I feel like some of the negative reputations that we assign to these types are really rooted in their unhealthy expressions. Yeah. So

HW:

When we see that, Yeah. In somebody else, like you and I have talked about, the eight is a force of nature. Yes. So that force of nature is clearing a path for all of us to walk along and to make it easy for us, that force of nature could also be a tornado and be a path of destruction. That’s right. Right? Yes. And so that destruction is labeled like, oh, eights are so strong and powerful, they can get a negative connotation. So our goal in that relationship that I have with people is bringing them along with what that healthy version of themselves is. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. And finding that integration and tapping into their strengths.

CS:

Yes. Yes. So I think that, again, I wish we could talk about all of the types today because there’s such richness in all of them, the nine types each. I’m sure there’s people like, well none of those three that you’ve mentioned today are really resonating with me. Right. And again, there are a full spectrum of nine each with its own richness. So once you have this assessment and you do this initial conversation where you’re unpacking it with someone, again that’s before they even know what number it spit out. Yes. Like I didn’t know that it had typed as an eight when we were having that conversation. We were, you were able to pull insights out of me and phrases out of me and kind of, you know, pain out of me that was like reinforcing to you that yeah, we have this person accurately typed and that to me y’all was like the game changer to have a human who was trained in how to listen to me tell some of my story verbally. Yes. And then was able to compare that to what the instrument said was the type and then sort of feed that back to me as a synthesis. That was very powerful. Yeah. And then you gave me some like, not assignments per se, but like things to think about and ponder along with the report. So, that was really powerful too, to have things to do you have some examples of like work you might give someone to do after an initial typing?

HW:

Yeah. Because I think it’s all about, like you said, it’s that relationship with the type and where they are in their integration, right? Mm-hmm <affirmative>. And so there could be something that’s over or under expressed. So you know, as an A, you could be highly expressed in taking action and then maybe not having that pause button, right? To be able to say, okay, I need to pause, I take a deep breath. Is my team all brought up to speed? Have I consulted with experts? Right? So I’ll be looking for areas like strength and you know, saying you are great at making a decision and going, but my observation from your type is that maybe you’re not bringing your team along, right? Mm-hmm <affirmative>. Could you press the pause button for a minute? Could you just ask the team? Have you consulted the data? Right. So just kind of bringing in an awareness of like, this is a strength, but this is also what could be like a blind spot or a pitfall that could happen too. And getting people to see that and understand that for themselves.

CS:

Yes. And then starting to walk through your life in all facets. Like I think I started then walking through my personal life, my team at work, my client relationships, my extended family to look at like, okay, through this lens, what is this change about the, my own inner narrative about how things are showing up? Where might I need different people around me? Like support, we talked about this in the construct of our team. Like how do we have the right range of people around me that kind of provide shoulders on decision making or processes that need to be followed? So there’s so much richness. I think when, and I have appreciated being able to have an ongoing dialogue with you because now that you’re on our team, I’ve been able to kind of tap this resource of like, okay, what about this particular thing I’m dealing with? You know? And it, it just does seem to kind of unpack like onion layers.

HW:

Yes, it is. I mean it really is a treasure chest of learning. Like it is lifelong learning because we have this type our whole life, but it’s our relationship with the type that continues to evolve and grow. Yes. And the people that we interact with.

CS:

Yes. So, you know, I think that I’ve taken a lot of assessments over the years, like a lot of them, right. Myers Briggs, we talked about strengths, finders was one that I loved for a long time. I, I really personally have felt like this one is the strongest for me. I felt like it’s been, nothing has really cracked me open the way that this Enneagram work has done over the years. Even when I thought I was a different type. And, and can you talk a little bit about this try type that this particular assessment provides?

HW:

Yeah. So when we were talking about the nine types, right? So each of those types fall in one of those three centers. The gut, the action, the heart or the head. So of the nine types, we have the highest in each one of those. And what that points to us is I think like this type I act like this type and I feel like this type, so she acts like an eight, she feels like a three and she thinks like a six. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. So her actions are very instinctual, very gut centered. Right. She moves very quickly. She feels like a three, like a, you know, a competitive achiever. Yep. About movement, you know, winning. But she also thinks like a six, which is what’s the worst case scenario. What are the risks that can happen? And so that I felt like I brought a Yes. Big blends to your life. Yes. Or like now seeing the role of your type in each one of those three centers.

CS:

Yeah. So the three which I had thought was my primary type found a home inside of this like try type, which was really important to me because I was like, that’s why some of that definitely resonated. Right? Like that’s how I feel. Yes. And then the six which had never shown up in anything I thought was so six for people is like the loyalist, but there’s a level of skepticism associated. There’s this like risk aversion wanting to see around the corners and kind of sort the risk out of things. Yeah. And that shows up a lot in my decision making. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. I’ve really probably had to fight with that one the most to push through. ’cause you can imagine if you wanna be in control and competitive, you’re gonna have to take some risks. Yeah. And so I think I’ve had this turmoil about what to do with that little piece of me, but knowing that all three of them had a place kind of felt the most complete.

CS:

Um Yes. Right. That I didn’t have to walk away from. It wasn’t like it was wrong and this was right. It was like it took its rightful place in a broader picture. Yeah. So I think after we finished this work together I was like, okay, I love this try type idea and I love the conversation idea. We were like, how do we take this to more people? How do we let other people have this experience? ’cause it’s wild. I mean I feel like this has unleashed so much for me personally in the last several months. Like the, the insights just keep landing and my ability to apply it, I think, you know, in my personal life and my professional life is, I feel like I’m just getting started at this point. And so I really go ahead.

HW:

I was just gonna say, and I’ve observed that shift in you mm-hmm <affirmative>. Like I feel like you’re operating at a much higher frequency. Yes. Like very highly. And you always have, but it’s just, there’s something that’s been unleashed in you that feels like you’re free. You’re taking bigger risks, you’re trying to move things in different directions. Right. I just, I can observe it and witness it and it’s amazing. Which is

CS:

So fun. It’s so fun. Yeah. That it’s externally observable in addition to something that you feel, because I think that’s what we hear a lot in coaching, right? Don’t we? That people will come into coaching and other people will start saying like, what are you doing? Mm-hmm <affirmative>. What’s going on with you? And I, I mean, I remember for years hearing people say like their partner or a colleague would be like, what are you doing? Because they started coming home to themselves, whether it was through the lens of the Enneagram or not, there was this sense of like alignment that was coming back. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. And that brings your life force back online in a way that’s really ex You also told me I was too bored and I needed to like, there was something in my personal assessment that was like, you’re just basically, I was playing too safe and small. Yeah. And so eating to shake some things up was an insight.

HW:

So in the assessment, there’s a stressor or strain level too that comes through and yours was all green and you’re all happy. And I, I said, I love that for you,

CS:

But you to yourself, right.

HW:

You’re probably bored Uhhuh.

CS:

And I what, I mean, I think it’s like such a, it was such an important insight of like permission to go shake things up because you actually are craving that, you know? Yeah. Anyhow, we started talking about this and we’re like, we gotta, we have to bring this to more people. So I’m gonna, I’m so excited we get to like share this today with the listeners. We shared it with our client community recently that Heather and I decided to make this level of assessment available through Brilliant Balance. So we have created a way for you to experience exactly what I did, starting with the Enneagram assessment, which is honestly probably the most accurate and in-depth version of it that’s available. And then two separate one-on-one sessions with Heather to help you unpack what all of this means for you. So if you are listening and you’ve ever wondered like, first of all, I really wanna do the Enneagram, but I don’t, I’ve not done it. Or you’ve been curious about maybe is your type accurate or do you have the full range of insights available to you? This is your chance to find out because we have put together a brilliant balance Enneagram offering. Yay for us. Right. Heather?

CS:

So Heather is sitting like at the center of this, this is, this is her baby, this is, do you wanna talk a little bit more about what the offering actually looks like?

HW:

Yeah. So instantly, once you sign up for it, we send you a link, you take it 30 minutes instantly and I’ll get the results back. And then we would set up time to do a 90 minute deep dive session where, like Cheryl said, we’ll go through and I’ll ask you a series of questions to understand behaviors, motivation, your relationship, how I believe this message has kind of come through in your life. And at the end of that session, I would share what the quantitative test said, but what I believe you most resonate with. That’s right. And the diagnostics behind you as an individual come up with a plan and then we would regroup afterwards for another follow-up 30 minute session to talk about how to implement these learnings.

CS:

Absolutely. And I think the ability for people to work directly with you to not just have an online assessment, but to have a trained practitioner really in dialogue with you is just, it’s so powerful. And I think it provides such a roadmap for self understanding that is, it’s hard to get otherwise. Right? Like I think we do a lot of things today that are online assessments and Yep. You know, all the way down to like kind of the junk quiz. Like we’re just mm-hmm <affirmative>. We just wanna quiz this. This really is not that. Yeah. This is a level of deep understanding that I think can unlock a chapter of growth that many women listening may never have had for themselves. Especially like if you’re not seeing a therapist, if you don’t have a coach already. Like this is such a great first touch to really get this new level of self-awareness opened up.

So I’m gonna tell you where you can do this, how you’re gonna find it. So the Brilliant balance website, which is brilliant balance.com, we’ll of course link this in the show notes It’s slash Enneagram. So that URL is gonna take you directly to a place that you can read more about the offering that we’ve put together. You can get yourself signed up for it and then it will literally kick off connection to Heather so that she can send you your link to take the test and then go for assessment and then go from there. So it, but it is like, you can do this today, you can get signed up today, you can get scheduled and then Heather’s managing the queue of people to make sure that you are spacing out your sessions with them. This, and I just wanna emphasize this, this is with or without other brilliant balance support. So you know, typically we do a lot of offerings that are exclusive to our client community. The people that we’re already in coaching with, we talked about that and said, do we hold this only for clients? And decided, no, I think it’s something that people who are podcast listeners or who have no other coaching relationship established with us could still really benefit from as a standalone. And so we made the kind of really unusual decision for me that we would open this up more broadly. So I’m excited about it.

HW:

Yeah. I am too. Yeah. And I think it’s so powerful because it brings that unconscious to the forefront, right? Because you and I talked about our intentions and then the impact that we have and this is really that step before intention, right? It’s really about that instinct. What do we instinctually do? And just bringing it into the forefront so that we can see it and observe it.

CS:

Yeah. I think once you have the awareness of that, that’s like your first step to being able to put intentionality behind your action. Like you were saying, there’s things you’ll just do on instinct and from any of the types and they’re not always the most productive, right? Sometimes you have to really insert a pause to say, how might I refine this instinct in this particular circumstance? But you don’t stand a chance of doing that if you don’t know what your instinct is in the first place. Right. You’re just kind of, life is running you sometimes cool. And it’s

HW:

Just amazing. It’s like you’ll be on rocket fuel after you have this, right? Yeah.

CS:

I do think that’s been my experience. I came up with a couple of catchphrases for myself that are like on post-it notes on my desk to just remind me of what alignment to this kind of new home looks like. And I think literally every week since we had the conversation, after I took the assessment, some new fresh insight has landed where I’m like, oh my God, this is another piece of my life that’s explained by this or tendency that’s explained by it. So I just, I really want that for as many people as possible. Amazing. Well listen, I am just so delighted. I think it comes through in this conversation to not only have you doing this work, but to have you as a coach on the Brilliant Balance staff. I think we have so many women who are getting to know you there in bold and brave.

And I’m, um, just thrilled and delighted that you are a member of the team. I didn’t say this earlier in the intro, but Heather is actually a former client of Brilliant Balance as well. Um, one of our OG members of Bold. Yeah. So it is super fun to have you back in this capacity. I just love it so much. There’s so much alignment in this chapter. I know. It feels like home. Aw. Yeah. All right everyone, so brilliant balance.com/enneagram. We’ll put it in the show notes for you. Go check out what’s waiting for you with Heather as your partner. I think you’re gonna just be amazed by the insight that you can get from this if you give yourself this gift and I am confident her calendar’s gonna fill up. So <laugh>, if it looks like there’s a little time before you can get your assessment, that’s just because there will be, um, I’m sure much demand coming from this. If you have any other questions and you’re already on our newsletter list, you can hit us up, uh, through the Contact us form on the website, or you can respond to any of the newsletters and we read every single email that comes in. So that is all for today, my friends. Till next time, let’s be brilliant.