Episode #418 – Burnout Backslide: Why High Achievers Keep Ending Up on Empty (and How to Stop It)

This is episode 418 of the Brilliant Balance podcast. Today, we’re talking about the burnout backslide — why high achievers keep ending up on empty, and what you can do to stop it.

I’m recording this episode as I return from a retreat with one of my coaching groups called Bold. It’s always such a good time. We do this four times a year, and I just love the opportunity to get away with these women.

We were in the mountains of Asheville, North Carolina this time. We do this quarterly, so we get to experience different environments and different vibes as the year goes on. I hope you get this opportunity as well — to take a break periodically throughout the year. Maybe it’s a vacation, or maybe it’s just a weekend where you swear you’ll unplug — and you actually do. You think, “Okay, I’ve cracked the code. This time I’m not going back to that pace again.”

You tell yourself, “I’ve seen the light. I’ve figured out how to live at a better pace.” Life feels so good when you start your day with outdoor yoga — or whatever your new insight is.

And then, a week or two later, your calendar is full, your brain is buzzing, you’re over-caffeinated, and you’re right back where you started. I’ve seen this pattern in so many women — and honestly, I’ve lived it myself from time to time. It’s what I’ve come to call the burnout backslide.

This is when you think you’ve permanently fixed it — you’ve decided this is no way to live, and you’re not going to do it anymore. You think you’re out of the woods, but really, you’ve just paused it temporarily. It’s like a bad habit you just can’t break.

You keep sliding back into the patterns that lead you right into burnout — where you’re exhausted, numbed out, fried, whatever your word for it is — but you know you can’t stay in those patterns.

So here I am, calm and grounded since I just returned from a retreat of my own, and I think it’s a good time to unpack why this happens. Not just emotionally, but biologically and behaviorally — what are the drivers that keep us ending up in burnout? And then I want to share three really important shifts that can help you and me stay out of this burnout loop for good.

We want to stay connected to that feeling we have when we’re grounded — when things are paced, when life has a cadence or rhythm that we know we can sustain.

1. Burnout is a Biological Loop

Burnout is not a sign of weakness. It has nothing to do with willpower — or even your workload. It’s biology.

When you live in a constant state of stress — facing deadlines, demands, and endless to-do lists — your body adapts by releasing stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. These chemicals give you short-term energy, focus, and drive. And guess what? You get rewarded for it. You check more boxes, earn more recognition, feel more productive.

So your brain learns: Ah, this works! If I want recognition and productivity, I need that cortisol and adrenaline. So it goes looking for them.

But here’s the cost: when that becomes your baseline, your nervous system never resets. Your body forgets how to relax or how to be calm.

This has become a global issue. Burnout has actually been classified by the World Health Organization as an occupational phenomenon tied to unmanaged stress. Data suggests that up to 75% of working professionals experience the symptoms of burnout.

When so many of us are living this way, it’s no longer just about you — it’s about the environment we’ve normalized. The pace we’re running at — “busy, busy, busy” — has become a badge of honor. We take pride in saying, “I’m grinding. It’s so intense. I haven’t had a season this crazy in ages.” But that pride keeps us trapped in the biological loop.

So ask yourself: What if burnout isn’t a failure on your part at all? What if it’s actually a failure of the system you’re living in?
Where do you see evidence of that — in your workplace, your industry, your career path, your family system? And what can you do to break the pattern, even if it extends beyond you?

2. The Invisible Load

Even when your calendar isn’t overbooked, your brain can still be overloaded. That invisible load — the remembering, anticipating, planning, soothing — it’s the silent killer of energy.

So many of the women I work with carry an intense invisible load. It’s all the unrecognized, non-promotable work that no one thanks you for. You don’t get paid for it, but it keeps everything running.

Women leaders are one and a half times more likely than men to take on this kind of work. Harvard calls it the second shift. McKinsey and Lean In have both studied it extensively. This mental load doesn’t show up on your calendar or to-do list — but it’s real. You might think, I should be able to handle this, but your brain is maxed out.

Count the people you’re responsible for keeping afloat right now — at home, at work, maybe in your extended family. If your energy were currency, where is it leaking without any return?

One coaching exercise I often use is an energy audit. Just like a time audit, but focused on energy. List everything you do in a week — the meetings, projects, decisions — and circle the things that deplete you without moving you forward.

That’s where burnout hides. It’s invisible until you make it visible.

3. Recovery Has to Be Rhythmic

Here’s the good news: once you understand that burnout is a rhythm problem, you can fix it. Most people treat recovery as reactive — something they do only when they’ve hit a wall.

We push through until we’re toast, then pull the emergency brake — maybe spend a day on the couch watching Netflix. But real recovery is rhythmic. It’s built into the cadence of everyday life.

Humans function best in cycles — 90 to 120 minutes of focused work followed by a short period of rest. Even a 10-minute break between meetings reduces stress buildup. But most people sprint too long and too hard before inserting recovery, so they eventually need a massive reset.

What works better is inserting small, regular breaks throughout your week.
Take a 10-minute walk between calls. Leave one evening unscheduled — no practices, meetings, or projects. You’ll be amazed how long an evening feels when it’s just white space.

And most importantly, schedule recovery with the same priority as you schedule work. Professional athletes understand this — recovery is part of performance. They train in seasons, not nonstop. They build in rest to prepare for peak performance.

We don’t do that for ourselves, and that’s what lands us in burnout. Rhythmic recovery is the page we need to take from the athlete’s playbook.

Recap

1. Burnout isn’t weakness. It’s your body’s stress loop doing exactly what it’s supposed to do — but it needs to be interrupted.

2. The invisible load is real. That mental weight drains you quietly if you don’t name it and reduce it.

3. Recovery must be rhythmic. Sustainable energy requires rest built into your life — not just emergency recovery after collapse.

So if you find yourself in the burnout backslide — every time you think you’ve fixed it, but then fall back again — let this be your reminder: there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re not broken. You’re just out of rhythm.

When you work with your body and your nervous system — when you honor yourself as a human being who deserves recovery and not just endless performance — you’ll have energy left over for the parts of life you actually want to enjoy.

That’s what we’ve been talking about so much lately — with clients and on the podcast. We want big, full lives — and we’re really good at building them. But I want you to have the freedom to enjoy yours. To have the space, energy, and capacity to take it all in and celebrate it.

That requires staying out of this burnout cycle.

If something from today’s episode resonated with you — if you thought, “Oh my gosh, that’s it” — send me a DM. I’m @cskolnicki on Instagram. And if you know someone who needs this reminder, share the episode with them.

And if you haven’t already, make sure you follow the show so you never miss an episode.

That’s all for today, my friends.
Until next time, let’s be brilliant.