Episode #413 – Ask Cherylanne: Real Life Questions; Real World Answers

This is episode 413 of the Brilliant Balance podcast: Ask Cherylanne—real-life questions and real-world answers. Today we’re trying something brand new on the Brilliant Balance show. This is an Ask Cherylanne episode.

Sometimes you send me your real-world questions about work–life balance, burnout, or things you’re dealing with at work or at home. Sometimes I respond via DMs or email, but I thought we could start answering some of them right here on the podcast so you can benefit from the coaching conversations I’m having offline with other people.

In truth, you can think of this like listening in on a private coaching session. My plan is to give practical advice using real stories and real questions, and to offer encouragement to the person who asked the question—while giving you ideas you can put into practice right away. This happens regularly inside my coaching community: when I answer one person’s question on a group call, I often extrapolate the insight and say, “You might be dealing with something tangential, or another manifestation of the same challenge,” so you can take it away and apply it. I hope that’s what will happen for you in an episode like this.

In terms of flow, we’re going to talk about burnout, the sandwich generation, commuting, and imposter syndrome. I’ll wrap up with a question I loved that’s specific to my perspective and my life.

So buckle up, settle in, and let’s see if there’s something in these questions that will benefit you as well. By the way, if you already have a question in mind, or something comes to you as you’re listening, I’d love to hear from you. I’d like to make this a regular feature from time to time.

You can email support@brilliant-balance.com. You can DM me at @cskolnicki. You can also reply to any email you get from us if you’re already on my list. Any of those are perfectly fine ways to get in touch and submit a question, since we don’t yet have a formal process for gathering them.

Okay, first question: “Any tips on burnout when we feel like there’s never enough time in the day to do anything—much less rest?”

I want to normalize how common this sentiment is for the women who listen to this show. Many of you feel like there is so much to do and not enough time to do it—and definitely not enough time for rest, recovery, or downtime.

What do we do when we feel like we’re on a one-way path to burnout? My reframe is that burnout often comes from trying to do it all—trying to do all the things yourself—without prioritization or intentionality.

When we’re running through life throwing buckets of water on the flames, and it feels like we’re solely responsible for keeping everything afloat, it’s easy to fall into the exhaustion that leads to burnout.

Two helpful strategies:

1. Reverse the priority of the task list versus the foundational practices that build resilience. We all have a collection of practices—sometimes conscious, sometimes unconscious—that create resilience: the things that help you manage stress and a significant workload. What are you doing to be strong and fortified enough to handle your life? Often when the workload goes up, we push those practices to the back burner or omit them altogether. I’m suggesting you invert this: make those practices the first thing you protect time for, and then use remaining time for the task list. That single change—prioritizing sufficient sleep, adequate nutrition and hydration, time outside, some alone time, and doing something enjoyable—can make a huge difference. Ultimately, we’re creating a cycle of rest and recovery, which is a necessity, not a luxury.

2. Audit the list for what can be removed. Where are you in a “do it all” frame, insisting things are necessary or non-negotiable when they’re actually negotiable—or unnecessary? In coaching, it’s rare that we can’t unearth at least one thing that doesn’t have to be done at all. Before you reach burnout, run the experiment: identify something you can stop doing and notice that the world goes on.

Next question: “What’s one piece of advice for the sandwich generation, where our parents are just as needy as our children?”

First, I want to acknowledge the emotional weight behind this question. Demographically, many of us are in an age range where our parents are living longer, some of us had children later, and the sandwich-generation crunch hits later than it did for our predecessors. Women in their late 40s and 50s are really in the thick of this. Some experience it earlier, in their 30s. There’s a long stretch where your children still need significant parenting support while your parents are beginning to need more support as well.

I feel lucky that, at the time of this recording, my parents are alive, doing well, and living independently—they offer us support more than we offer them. But many of my clients are in this situation right now, and having walked many women through it (and having watched my mother walk through it when I was a teenager), you’re not imagining it—this is a heavy season.

The number one thing: reframe expectations. You cannot give 100% to everyone all the time. If you have multiple children, you know support ebbs and flows among them based on needs. Similarly, caregiving for aging parents adds another responsibility. Many of us do it willingly and happily; some do it because there’s no one else.

Knowing you can’t give 100% to everyone all the time lets you access self-compassion and recognize that support systems are necessary. You may need outside help on either side of the equation. Enlist siblings and kids; consider paid caregivers. Expanding the network of people involved in care can be lifesaving. Giving yourself permission to do this can be difficult, but it’s critical.

As in the first answer, this season often feels like there’s never enough time. Your resilience-building rituals become even more important to help you carry a heavier load.

Finally, be extra mindful of your need to emotionally process everything you are responsible for—or feel responsible for. Find external processing support so you’re not carrying it alone: a therapist, a good friend, a pastor, or a coach can be immensely helpful.

Next question: “How can someone maintain a good work–life balance with a really long commute?”

My heart goes out to those with long commutes. I worked from home (or very close to home) for the last 15 years, but the first 15 years of my career included long commutes, and it’s a lot. Commuting can feel like wasted time, especially if you love efficiency and don’t control factors like traffic.

My best coaching advice is to reframe commuting time as dual-purpose time. There are few instances in life that truly lend themselves to multitasking; commuting may be one of them. Whether you commute alone or with someone else, look for a two-for-one during transit.

What are you listening to? Could this become educational time with podcasts or audiobooks?

Could it become connection time? If you’re in the car with someone, have a real conversation. If you’re alone, consider calling someone for an extended catch-up. I had a season with regular five-hour drives; I used each trip to have a couple of long, meaningful conversations. If you have an hour each way daily, there’s substantial opportunity for connection.

If you commute by public transportation, your lens shifts again. You may create pockets of silence for meditation, reflective thinking, or journaling. (Of course, don’t do these while driving, and be mindful of fellow passengers.) When someone else is doing the driving, that pocket of time can be a gift.

This reframing gives your commute intentionality instead of viewing it as wasted time. And if the commute truly becomes an impediment, remember you have options—where you work, how often you’re in the office, or how you get there—that you can explore.

Next question: “Any tips for people feeling imposter syndrome—especially during a career pivot or change?”

I love the nuance here. I’ve talked about imposter syndrome before, and I’ll speak specifically to why a career change can trigger it.

First, normalize it. Feeling like a fraud when you’re doing something for the first time is another way of saying, “I’m a beginner.” You’re not yet experienced in the thing you’re about to do—starting a new job, taking a promotion, changing companies. Your brain registers newness as “not qualified.” I would simply add the word “yet.” You haven’t had the opportunity to prove your capability—yet. It takes a bit of time for your brain to recognize, “This is familiar; I know how to do this; I feel competent.”

Of course it feels strange at the beginning. It’s supposed to. You feel like you’re posing as someone who’s done this before—because you haven’t, yet. Normalizing this gives you room to grow into your experience.

Practical strategies: keep a “wins” file. I ask for wins on every coaching call I lead. Track where you demonstrated competence, where you shined, where you felt successful—especially in a new environment.

Also, remember that courage creates confidence. You won’t feel confident before you take the action; the action creates the confidence. Taking the new job, accepting the promotion, or changing companies while you feel a bit nervous is exactly what opens up confidence. Feeling like an imposter is often just feeling new—and feeling new is normal when you are new. Give yourself time to rack up wins and be imperfect while you learn. As lived experience catches up with your potential, imposter syndrome fades into the background.

Final question: “What is one golden rule you live by to maintain a healthy work–life balance?”

The phrase I call to mind over and over when I want to feel more balanced, settled, and at ease is: be where you are.

It brings me back to living life one moment at a time. The freedom in that—the opportunity to be fully present, to do the thing in front of me to the best of my ability, and then set it aside and do the next thing—is powerful.

“Be where you are” not only improves my experience; it creates better experiences for the people around me. The power of full presence lets us move sequentially through our day, our week, our year, and our lives—bringing the gift of presence to ourselves and to others. It’s the single greatest reminder I give myself when I want to feel centered and grounded, even in a chaotic season or a chaotic day.

So today we covered burnout, caregiving, commuting, imposter syndrome, and my personal golden rule for balance. If you liked this quick, rapid-fire format and have a question you’d like me to answer, email support@brilliant-balance.com or DM me on Instagram at @cskolnicki. I’d love to hear from you and answer your question in a future episode.

Remember: you deserve the freedom to fully enjoy the life you’ve built. That’s all for today, my friends. Until next time, let’s be brilliant.