Episode #409 – Breaking Free: Escaping the Overwhelm Cycle

This is episode 409 of the Brilliant Balance Podcast, Breaking Free, Escaping the Overwhelm Cycle. So as we get this episode started, let me ask you, have you ever had one of those days where just the sheer number of things on your plate feels like it’s literally going to crush you?

Like you sit down to get something done and five new things pop into your mind. Then your to-do list is multiplying itself like rabbits or something. And your brain is shutting down because you’re doing a hundred things at the same time, but none of them actually feel finished.

That really is a picture of overwhelm. And if you are in that state right now, I just want to remind you that you are not alone. A couple of episodes ago, I was talking about redefining reasonable.

We need to get ourselves to a place where we’re able to look at the sheer magnitude of things that we’re trying to take on and come to terms with the fact that we’re probably not being realistic or reasonable about what it is that we can get done in any given day, week, or time period.

Last week I was talking about burnout, specifically with Michelle Grosser, about the things you could do to build a burnout-proof life. If you haven’t listened to either one of those episodes, this would be a great time to go back and listen to them.

They’re not necessarily foundational to today’s topic, but there is a theme here that we are pulling the thread through: What are we going to do about this giant bucket of stuff that we all think we are supposed to be able to get done?

Overwhelm is often a precursor to burnout. It’s probably the state that women show up in the most often, both when I’m coaching them actively and when I’m talking to them about the possibility of coaching. Overwhelm often precipitates the need for that kind of engagement.

It’s not something you solve once and then it just goes away—it can be a repeated problem. Overwhelm is sneaky because it doesn’t always show up as panic, like a five-alarm fire. Sometimes it looks more like irritability, being extra emotional, teary, procrastinating, indecision, or perfectionism. And the hardest part is that when you’re in it, it’s really hard to see a way out of it—or even identify that it’s happening—because you have your head down just trying to do the work.

If you’re in that place today, and you recognize yourself in those symptoms, take a deep breath and stay with me. We’re going to walk through a reminder of what triggers overwhelm—how we end up in this state—and some things you can do to walk yourself out of it.

I am not here today under the delusion that you need one more thing on your to-do list. You don’t need another framework to learn or another course to take. This is straightforward, simple guidance that can put you back into forward motion with a lighter heart and more clarity and peace, so you can lay down the piece that’s pushing you over the brink and get back to something more manageable.

First, let’s look at the things that trigger overwhelm. You’ll probably recognize yourself somewhere in this list—maybe you’re more susceptible to a couple of them than others.

It’s easy to assume overwhelm is just about having too much on your plate. At its core, it can feel like “I have too much to do and not enough time to do it.” But it goes deeper.

For women who are lifelong overachievers, overwhelm is often triggered by internal drivers. The first is unrealistic expectations—holding yourself to impossible standards across every domain: being a phenomenal leader, present parent, supportive partner, great friend, health-conscious, stylish—and making it all look easy. When the bar is so high it’s no longer human, you’re on a one-way track to overwhelm.

The second is being overly responsible—taking on not just more of the to-do list, but also ownership of outcomes. You believe everything depends on you, from work projects to family decisions. You keep saying yes, even when you don’t have room, and delegation gets replaced by overload.

The third is mental clutter, or open loops. Our minds hate open loops. Picture an electrical box with wires hanging loose, nothing connected—no circuits complete. This is what happens when you have unfinished decisions, errands, emails, and projects. Without closure, your brain has no room for order, decisiveness, or prioritization.

The fourth is poor or nonexistent boundaries. Without protecting your time and energy, work bleeds into personal life, texts interrupt dinner, and “one quick thing” becomes an hour-long detour. Without boundaries, you live in constant reactivity, which is exhausting.

So, the four triggers are: unrealistic expectations, being overly responsible, mental clutter, and poor boundaries.

Now, how do you get yourself out of overwhelm and back into momentum? Here are three ideas:

1. Get it all out of your head. When you’re overwhelmed, your brain feels like it has 100 tabs open and 20 playing music. Use a “brain drain” to write down everything—appointments, errands, deadlines, decisions, events—without organizing it. This clears mental space for decision-making.

2. Get something done. Overwhelm causes paralysis. Once you’ve emptied your head, choose one meaningful thing from your list and do it—right now if you can. It doesn’t have to be the most important task; momentum builds from any action.

3. Declare a daily finish line. Most of us never feel “done” because our lists never end. Choose a time-based or task-based endpoint each day to signal your brain and body that work is over. Without this, recovery never happens, and burnout becomes inevitable.

Recap: Get it out of your head. Get one thing done. Declare a daily finish line.

This shifts you from chaos to rhythm, routine, and momentum—a life with a cadence you can sustain. If you came into this feeling buried under your to-dos, start with one step, like a brain drain, and build from there.

If you found this episode helpful, share it with a friend. We’re all navigating so much these days, and no one should feel like they have to do it alone.

Until next time, let’s be brilliant.