Episode #407 – The Bounce-Back Blueprint: How to Recover from a Setback and Reclaim Your Momentum

This is episode 407 of the Brilliant Balance podcast, and today I’m sharing the Bounce Back Blueprint—how to recover from a setback and reclaim your momentum.

If you’re new to the show and you’re navigating a high-pressure career, a full family life, and trying to find some room for yourself in the middle of it all, you’re in exactly the right place. That’s the Brilliant Balance manifesto. Today, we’re talking about something we all face but rarely plan for: setbacks.

More importantly, we’re going to talk about how to bounce back from those setbacks when they happen. So let’s start here. If you’re an ambitious, thoughtful woman who’s generally good at figuring things out, setbacks can feel especially painful. You’re used to finding a way—you’re used to succeeding, to achieving. So when something doesn’t go your way—when a deal falls apart, or your big idea gets rejected, or life throws you an unexpected curveball—it hits hard.

I know this because it’s 100% my story. But here’s what I want you to hear today: resilience isn’t about avoiding the fall. It’s about getting back up—stronger and smarter—over and over again. And you can’t build resilience without experiencing setbacks. It’s actually impossible. If life is all smooth sailing, you’re not building this skill. And this skill turns out to be everything.

To build resilience, you need a framework, and you also need to be willing to go through the pain of the process. I want to give you a way to think through setbacks so they don’t define you—but rather refine you. You grow through them.

But we need to start by acknowledging one thing: not all setbacks are created equally. There are, in fact, setbacks that are more challenging and permanent than others. Your path forward really depends on understanding which kind of setback you’re facing.

There are two primary kinds. The first I’ll call permanent loss. This is when something is taken from you for good—your job, a relationship, a loved one, your health, your home. You didn’t choose it. You can’t undo it. It hurts. It sucks. In these moments, the only real path forward is surrender. It’s like a gravity problem—it’s not changeable. So releasing your original vision and creating space for a new one is what resilience looks like in permanent loss situations.

This is deep work. Emotional work. Spiritual work. And it’s not what today’s episode is about. But I want to name it, because sometimes bouncing back isn’t about charging forward. It’s about grieving and letting go. And that’s hard. It’s the hardest. But too often, we mislabel other kinds of setbacks as permanent when they’re not.

The second type of setback is more like an obstacle in the road. This is the kind I want to focus on today.

It’s the job you applied for but didn’t get. The business pitch that flopped. The fitness goal you abandoned. The book draft still sitting in your Google Docs, unpublished. In these cases, your vision is still alive—but you’ve hit a detour.

At that point, your response is everything. The path forward is not about surrender. It’s about resolve. It’s about grit. It’s about persistence. It’s about finding a way over, around, under, or through the obstacle.

When you’ve taken a hit and your mind is swirling, how do you touch bottom and push back up? That’s what I’m giving you today—three keys to do exactly that. I call it the Bounce Back Blueprint.

Let’s walk through how you recover from this kind of setback—the kind that delays your vision but doesn’t destroy it.

Step One: Look for the Lesson

Somewhere in the mess, you ask yourself: What just happened? How did I get here? What can I learn from it?

This isn’t about blame—it’s about reclaiming your agency. That means acknowledging where you had control, what role you played, and what you’d do differently next time.

Say you bid on your dream house and didn’t get it. Where did you have influence? What can you assess about your behavior? When you reframe a setback as feedback instead of failure, that shift changes everything.

I often ask myself, What if life is happening for me, not to me? Even in the hardest moments, I ask, What is this moment trying to teach me? How can I grow through it? That’s not fantasy—that’s the most evolved response you can have. There’s always something to learn.

Step Two: Reevaluate the Goal

Once you’ve reflected, ask yourself: Do I still want this?

Sometimes, the answer is no. The goal itself needs to evolve. Maybe that promotion would’ve created more constraint, not freedom. Maybe what you really want is impact, not just income. In those cases, the setback becomes a gift—it helps you see more clearly.

Other times, you still want the goal, but the approach needs to change. You might need more experience, support, or a better strategy. Getting clear on your true target and the best way forward stops the spin of disappointment and gets you moving again.

Step Three: Recover, Then Recommit

Too many high-achieving women skip this part. We fall down, then we bolt forward.

We’ve all done it. You trip in public and just stand up and keep walking. I once slipped on ice in a parking lot—full cup of coffee in hand—landed hard, and tried to bounce right back up. By the time I got inside, my knee was bleeding—but I didn’t want to look down. That’s what skipping recovery looks like.

But when we don’t take time to recover, our emotional and physical energy gets stuck in the stumble. We can’t bring it forward into what’s next.

So pause. Cry if you need to. Scream in your car. Take the walk. Book the massage. Go to sleep. Give yourself a reset. Recovery isn’t indulgent—it’s required.

Then recommit. To your vision. To your plan. To the rewards on the other side. If you skip recovery, you risk compromising your next effort. Don’t do that. Be intentional about pausing before moving forward.

What does this look like in real life?

Let’s say you’re an executive going after a major promotion. It’s a role you’ve had your eye on for years. You’ve done the work, built the relationships, delivered the results. You’re already performing at the next level—and everyone knows it.

You’re ready to claim the role. But then… they give it to someone else. Maybe it’s an outside hire. Maybe it’s someone with more tenure. Maybe it’s your arch-nemesis. Or maybe the company restructured and the role disappeared altogether.

Whatever the reason, you’re left sitting in the aftermath—feeling blindsided, frustrated, maybe even questioning everything.

So how does the Bounce Back Blueprint apply here?

First, you look for the lesson. What did this experience teach you? Were there political dynamics at play that you didn’t fully understand? Was there feedback that you missed—or didn’t absorb? Did you advocate strongly enough for yourself, or were you hoping someone would just notice?

Then, you adjust the goal or the approach. Maybe the goal still stands, but now you realize the path forward won’t be through this company. Or maybe you’re crystal clear that you do want to stay—but that means reworking your strategy. You might need to raise your visibility, reposition your impact, or build stronger sponsorship.

You’re not giving up—you’re recalibrating.

Then, you recover and recommit. Let the sting subside. Let go of the bitterness. Reconnect with your deeper why. Maybe you need journaling time. Maybe a few days off. Maybe you need to get back into your body through movement.

When clarity returns and your energy starts to hum again, you’ll be able to make your next move with full confidence.

This is what separates women who plateau from women who rise. They know how to absorb disappointment, extract the wisdom, and return with presence and perspective.

This framework gives you something to hold onto—a path forward—so the setback doesn’t just sit there like dead weight. Instead, you burn it as fuel.

Because resilience is a superpower. You may not control the knockdown—but you absolutely get to decide if, when, and how you rise.

The most extraordinary women I know—the ones building lives they love and making big things happen—have all learned how to bounce.

So if you’ve been knocked off course recently, this is your invitation to start again—wiser, stronger, and clearer than ever.

And if you’re navigating a tough chapter and want to re-center yourself, reach out. Send me a message on Instagram, reply to one of our emails, or use the Contact Us form on the website. Just say, “Hey, I think I might need some help.”

We do this kind of work every day inside the BOLD Circle in coaching. And if you know this is your season for support, give yourself the gift of reaching out.

If you’re not already on our weekly list, get on it. If you’re not already hanging out with us on Instagram, follow me at @cskolnicki or the brand at @brilliant_balance. It’s a great way to stay connected and keep these conversations going.

That’s all for today, my friends.

Until next time—let’s be brilliant.