Episode #398 – The Two Levers of Leadership: Power and Influence

This is episode 398 of the Brilliant Balance podcast. Today we’re talking about the two levers of leadership: power and influence. And I have to tell you, my friends, today’s episode is one I’ve really been looking forward to sharing with you. This idea has been coming up for me in a number of different forums lately.

First, I was speaking to a group of college-aged women in a Women in Business Club at a university. We were talking about the importance of influence as a leadership skill.

Then, I was on a coaching call with my BOLD cohort. We have a weekly group call, and the topic came up again. One woman was unpacking a recent leadership experience she’d had. What I heard in her question was that she was wondering if she’d been an effective leader.

There was a nuance between her ability to use power versus influence in that situation. The convergence of those two recent events made me realize—this is a podcast episode. So I’ve put some structure around these ideas to share something cohesive with you. This is such an important insight for all leaders, but maybe especially for women, as we learn to use and toggle between these skills at different stages of our careers—not just at work, but also in our communities and homes.

Think about times in your life when you had positional power—the authority to make a decision—but chose not to use it. Or times when you wished you had power but had to rely on different skills to get people to follow you. Leadership often comes down to knowing when to use authority and when to use influence. Most of us have to toggle between these two daily. What might shift for you if you could confidently use both?

Let’s define these two levers of leadership.

Positional Power

This form of leadership comes with a title or formal role that grants you authority—essentially, you’re the boss. This might be because people report to you, or you lead a classroom, a team, or clients as a professional. Positional power grants you decision-making authority, access to resources, and control over structure and processes.

Those with positional power often set direction, establish rules, and drive accountability. In some ways, it’s the easier form of leadership—everyone knows you’re the leader and expects you to act like one.

Influence

Influence, on the other hand, isn’t conferred. It’s earned—through trust, credibility, and relationship. It doesn’t require a title or even experience. It depends on respect, relatability, and the ability to inspire.

Influence is useful when you want to enroll others in an idea, shape culture, or catalyze change. You can think of influence as leading from within, while power is leading from above. Influence does not require a hierarchy; you can lead with influence from any seat at the table.

Gender Dynamics

This is where gender dynamics come into play. Many women are socialized to use influence more than authority.

The good news? That builds strong emotional intelligence and relationship skills. It’s an entire toolkit that people who assume they’ll always have positional power often don’t bother to develop.

But when women finally get positional power, it can be hard to step into it. I’ve received feedback before like, “Just make the call.” I was trying to build consensus and get everyone to like the decision. But not everyone will, and that’s okay. Sometimes, you just have to make the call.

On the flip side, women in power may fear being labeled negatively for using that power decisively. That fear can freeze them. They delay decisions, trying to make everyone feel good.

The goal is to normalize using both power and influence—each in the right situation.

Early vs. Later Career

For college-aged women or those early in their careers, positional power may be limited. Influence becomes the essential skill.

For seasoned professionals with positional power, the key is not being afraid to use it—it’s a powerful tool in your leadership toolkit.

Skills of Influence

There are five primary skills that build influence:

1. Active Listening – Make people feel heard and understood. Reflect back what you hear before responding.

2. Relationship Building – Create genuine connections across roles and levels.

3. Storytelling – Use narratives to convey meaning and spark connection.

4. Empathy – Understand what others are feeling, needing, or fearing.

5. Persuasion – Enroll others in a vision without demanding compliance; always consider what’s in it for them.

Practice these in everyday situations—at home, at work, or in your community.

Skills of Positional Power

There are five core skills for exercising positional power:

1. Decisiveness – Make timely decisions, often with incomplete information, without overexplaining.

2. Clarity in Communication – Deliver clear, firm direction without qualifiers.

3. Boundary Setting – Define roles, expectations, and responsibilities clearly.

4. Accountability – Track commitments and outcomes. Follow up on deliverables.

5. Delegation – Assign ownership without micromanaging. Share the “what” and “why,” but let them figure out the “how.”

Delegation is especially powerful when you “paint done”—describe what success looks like, then step back and let people figure out how to get there.

When to Use Each

Use Power When:

• You’re responsible for the outcome.

• You need to protect resources or clarify priorities.

• You need to enforce standards or move quickly.

Use Influence When:

• You’re leading peers, cross-functional teams, or volunteers.

• You’re managing up.

• You’re building coalitions or catalyzing change.

• You’re seeking long-term loyalty, not just short-term compliance.

Even if you have positional power, influence may be more appropriate depending on the situation. Overusing power leads to compliance out of fear. Overusing influence can result in a lack of action.

Finding Balance

If you overuse power, try inviting input, even when you plan to decide. Use empathy to soften the edges.

If you overuse influence, firm up your expectations and introduce consequences. People respond well to boundaries, especially when they’re presented with kindness.

The best leaders use both levers—power and influence. They read the room, choose the right approach, and lead with integrity and awareness.

Ask yourself: What does this moment need?
Direction or connection?
Decisiveness or diplomacy?

Closing Reflection

Where are you more comfortable—as a leader and as someone being led? With power or influence? What would it take to expand your toolkit?

You don’t have to choose between being respected and being relatable. You can be both. That’s what true leadership looks like. It’s the kind of leader I aspire to be, and it’s what most of the women I work with in Brilliant Balance aspire to be.

Take one nugget from today’s episode and apply it. And let me know what you did with it! The most fun part of being a podcaster is hearing that something I shared made a difference in how you led a meeting, had a conversation, or showed up differently at home.

If you’d like, leave a review of the show or just email me directly. I read every note from listeners. Let me know what resonated with you and how it made you a better leader.

That’s all for today, my friends. Until next time—let’s be brilliant.