Episode #382 – Making room for more: Energetic Space-Making

This is episode 382 of the Brilliant Balance podcast, Making Room for More, or what I’m calling energetic spacemaking. So welcome back to the show. Settle in. This one is a good one, if I do say so myself.

I am just back, as I am recording this, from taking a group of clients who are in our BOLD program to Palm Beach for one of our quarterly retreats. Inside that program, we do four retreats a year. This one, I think of as the Midwinter Mastermind. It is the perfect time to get out of the cold climate that I live in and get myself to a warm environment for a few days.

These women come from all over the country and Canada, and they equally love the opportunity to settle into a warm environment and a really beautiful, expansive space. I always feel like whenever I am near some kind of natural beauty—particularly the ocean—I think a lot of us feel this. The ocean, mountains, a lake, or rivers. When I’m in the presence of the awe and wonder that come from truly beautiful natural environments, it is so much easier for me to gain perspective, particularly to think bigger.

That is a dynamic I definitely see play out with these women. So, four times a year, we do that. We put ourselves in an environment where we have the chance to think bigger, to dream bigger, to set aside the demands of our daily lives as best we can, and really be in that container together—solving problems, making decisions, and co-creating the next level together.

That experience is the origin story for this episode. It was on my mind as I was traveling back and making notes for what I wanted to record next.

I want to open this episode with a metaphor. Imagine that you’re getting ready for a trip to someplace beautiful, and you’re packing your suitcase. You’ve thrown in a lot of stuff you might need—clothes for all occasions, toiletries, hair products, tools, a sweater just in case, a hat just in case—all the things you’re tossing into the suitcase.

As it gets more and more full, and you’re getting closer to needing to close it, you’re shoving in the last few things. You sit on top of the suitcase so you can zipper it shut. Finally, you think, “Everything’s in here that I need. I’m ready to go.”

Just at that moment, the doorbell rings. A package arrives. It’s a delivery of a clothing item you’ve been waiting for, something you’ve been drooling over. You’re so excited it’s here. You open the box, try it on, and it’s perfect.

Then you turn around and look at your suitcase. It’s stuffed to the brim. Not one more thing will fit.

What do you do?

I’ll tell you what you’re not likely to do. You are not going to say, “Oh well, I’ll just leave it here.” You’re not going to think, “Whatever. It’s the perfect dress. It would look amazing on my trip, but I’ll just leave it behind.” No!

You’re going to bust that suitcase open and figure out what to take out. You might grab another bag. You’ll do something to make sure you can take that dress with you.

And yet, when we think about new things coming into our lives—new ideas, new blessings, new opportunities—how often do we act like that packed suitcase and let them pass by? Maybe consciously, maybe unconsciously, because there’s no room.

That’s what I want to talk about today: our tendency to not know how to make space. I want to explore how we can make room for more of whatever we want in our lives.

Where Do We Get “Full”?

First, let’s look at where we can feel full—so cluttered or clogged with what we already have that we aren’t open to the new.

I came up with three areas. If you think of more, I’d love to hear them. You can always DM me on Instagram (@cskolnicki) with your thoughts.

1. Time

This one might be obvious since I talk about balance a lot. Our schedules get full, and we reject things because we don’t have time. But here’s the kicker: we never reject the bad stuff. If someone adds more work, we fit it in.

What we reject is the good stuff.

We say, “I can’t go on a retreat for two and a half days—I’m too busy at work.”
Or, “I can’t accept that invitation to go skiing—I have too much to do at home.”

We reject the good stuff because our calendars are full of things we feel we have to do.

This is especially true in midlife. We’re so other-focused—taking care of work, children, spouses, partners, parents, extended family, our communities. Our calendars are so full because of our interconnectedness.

Even small things become difficult. How hard is it to organize lunch with your friends? It takes weeks to find a mutually available date!

Bigger things? They just don’t happen. I hear from women all the time who say, “I haven’t taken a vacation in years. I want to, but I just can’t figure it out.”

So, our time gets packed—like that overstuffed suitcase—leaving no room for what truly matters.

2. Headspace

This one might surprise you.

There are so many memes about how full our heads are. Thoughts are running through our minds constantly. We’re consuming social media, worries, negative self-talk.

Worries take up a lot of headspace, especially for those of us who run more anxious. There are always things to worry about, big and small.

Negative self-talk, the inner critic, is a huge culprit. That voice in your head narrating your day? Criticizing everything? She’s always there.

And then there’s anger and resentment—toward our spouse, a colleague, a family member. These emotions are heavy and take up so much space.

With all that noise, where’s the space for positive thinking? For dreaming? For imagining new possibilities?

3. Beliefs

This one is the least obvious, but it might be the most powerful.

Beliefs—what I sometimes call invisible scripts—are stories we tell ourselves, running in the background. And often, we cling to them, even when they no longer serve us.

Think about beliefs like:

• “My best days are behind me.”
• “I’m not [blank] enough.” (Smart enough, experienced enough, wealthy enough, attractive enough.)
• “I’m not allowed to [blank].”

We adopt these beliefs—sometimes from childhood, sometimes from culture or societal norms. And they take up space, blocking new, empowering beliefs from entering.

How Do We Make Room for More?

If you, like me, believe that life is about growth, then you have to make room for new things.

Here are three ways:

1. Let Go – Identify what’s no longer serving you and release it.
2. Crowd Out – Fill your life with good things first, so the less important stuff naturally falls away.
3. Expand the Container – Shift your mindset to hold new possibilities.

Final Thoughts

We live in a world of limitless possibilities. But if we keep our heads down—thinking the same thoughts, doing the same things, believing the same beliefs—we stagnate.

My invitation to you today is this: Make room for more.

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it.

Until next time—go be brilliant.