Episode #359 – A BOLD Announcement

This is episode 359 of the Brilliant Balance Podcast, “A Bold Announcement.” Well, today is the day, listeners. We have been preparing for this day for a long while behind the scenes, and I truly hope what I share today is as exciting to you as it is to me. I am genuinely delighted to be entering this new era of Brilliant Balance, to step into the work I am ready to do with you. And I know you are in the right place at the right time.

I want to start today by seeing how well I know you. Let me guess—I’ll bet you grew up being told that you could have it all. And I’ll bet that idea ignited a fire in you. Even though no one spelled it out exactly, you knew what it meant to have it all. It meant you were going to have career success, an idyllic family life, vibrant health, and let’s face it, good looks to go with it. You imagined a thriving social life, meaningful community engagement, and a lifestyle that people respected or even admired. It was a pretty clear checklist, wasn’t it? I think we all got the memo on what having it all was supposed to mean.

But what that checklist didn’t come with was a warning: this is going to be a lot of work. At first, the work was fine. You were good at work, right? The same drive that got you straight A’s and into college probably brought you early success in your career because you knew how to hustle. You knew how to get things done. If your boss said, “I need this by tomorrow,” you figured it out. If things got complicated in a club or organization where you were volunteering, you were the one who raised your hand and said, “I got this.”

But over time, your ability to do everything yourself—your aptitude that you were born with—stopped being an asset and started to become a liability. And here’s the dangerous part: you might not have noticed. By the time you invisibly crossed that mark, you already had a big life with lots of things competing for your attention. You were so busy managing all the elements of that big life that you didn’t notice the dynamic had shifted, that the capability you had relied on to get you through—your ability to outwork things—was starting to not be enough. And you probably didn’t want to admit that to yourself, so you just kept going.

This big life comes with big demands in different arenas. At work, I’ll bet, whether they call you the executive director, department chair, partner, or anything that starts with a “C,” you’re the one running the show or your part of it. People depend on you to know the answers, make decisions, have the plan, and stay positive while doing it. You set the tone in your organization. And while I’ll bet you love it, you’re still trying to do too much of the work yourself. Even though you have the title, you don’t want anyone to think you’re too good to roll up your sleeves and handle every little detail. If you’re honest, you’re probably even the one remembering to order lunch.

It’s a time suck of epic proportions to keep dipping your hands into every pot, but you don’t know how to do it any other way. And of course, you do the same thing at home. Who else is going to pay the bills, schedule the doctor appointments, water the plants, and plan every last detail of the vacation? Whether you’re married, single, or somewhere in between, you are the one carrying the lion’s share of the mental load. And since it takes so much time and headspace to do all of this, I bet you’re cutting out the things you used to do with other people.

If you look back at your calendar, where are the lunch dates? The walks with a friend? The trips to the gym where you had that class you loved with great people? Date nights? The girls’ trips? I bet they’re few and far between.

This combination of big responsibilities at work and home, and maybe also in a community organization like a board or a nonprofit, while still trying to take great care of yourself, leads to a lot of big feelings. At this life stage, we’re no longer the energizer bunnies of our 20s, staying up until 1 a.m. to finish a presentation and getting up at 5 to be at the office and feeling great. Those days are gone. We are doing so many things to take extra good care of ourselves, and sometimes it still doesn’t feel like enough. All of this together churns up big feelings.

I bet you’re feeling chronically overwhelmed, like you just can’t catch a break because there is so much to do. It’s never-ending. I remember when my kids realized that as soon as they finished one round of homework, there was another one coming. It’s such a metaphor for life, isn’t it? No sooner do we get one list of things completed, another list recreates itself while we sleep. That chronic state of overwhelm is exhausting. Our brains don’t get a chance to recover, and it starts to affect everything. That brings up frustration, right? It’s frustrating not being able to do the things we want to do. We keep asking ourselves, why is this so hard? It shouldn’t be, right? I should be better than this.

Then we become self-critical. Why can’t I do it all? I was supposed to be able to have this big life. I was supposed to be able to handle this. As we try to keep handling it all, we become scattered. We never feel fully present. We see it in the eyes of our kids, spouses or partners, parents—we’re not fully there. We’re thinking about a thousand other things, and that lands like a lot of pressure. It’s all on your shoulders to get it all done. This can make us feel anxious. What if you do drop a ball? What if you don’t get this done? What if you let someone down?

That tornado of feelings—overwhelm, frustration, pressure, anxiety, criticism, and being scattered—makes us feel terribly lonely. We think, why does no one get me? Why does no one understand? You think, if I could just slow down, just get a minute to gather my thoughts, that would be so great. But you can’t slow down because you have so much you still want to do—not just all of this stuff you’re managing now, but maybe you also have a big dream. What if I could still pull this off? But you can’t get to the big things because you’re so busy doing all the little things. You’re fighting this nagging sense of failure that you can’t put your finger on.

I want you to listen to me right now, wherever you are. You are not alone. You are not alone. You are not the only person feeling this way, I promise you. You are not doing it wrong. I’ve been there. You’re about to learn just how much I understand how you’re feeling and how much I care about getting you to a better place because I was raised the same way you were. I was raised to believe I could be anything I wanted to be in a time when having it all was the holy grail. It’s what we were all chasing. And I bought it—hook, line, and sinker. I took on the notion of having it all with gusto.

But since perfectionism also runs deep in my veins—I think it’s literally in our family tree—it was never quite enough. In school, it wasn’t enough to join one club; I joined every club, it felt like. I played on every team, and I had to ace every class. I carried that relentless drive with me into adulthood. I took on every project at work, every assignment that was offered. I did everything I could imagine at work and home, and I did a lot of it all by myself because I wouldn’t dream of letting anyone help me, much less asking them to. That would have felt like being vulnerable, like being weak. What? You think I can’t handle this? I was Atlas. You know that picture of Atlas carrying the world on his shoulders? That’s what it felt like. But carrying all of that made me tired, cranky, and honestly, resentful.

I had a long to-do list, a short temper, and dark circles under my eyes. I felt like a fraud because I was supposed to be the one who could do it all. While I had a big job, I had even bigger ambition, but I was worried I had hit a ceiling of my own making—not a ceiling anyone else had put in place for me. I was worried I had hit my own personal ceiling. And while I had the three kids I always wanted, a husband, and a house, I was always hurrying them through life, never really able to be in the moment with them, just doing one thing at a time, being fully present. I was running from one to-do to the next with no space in between.

One day I looked in the mirror, and honestly, I hardly recognized the woman looking back at me. This was not who I aspired to be. That’s when I knew something had to change. And really, what it came down to, I mean, honestly, was that I had to figure out how to stop living every minute like I was some kind of productivity machine. I had to start living like a human being. This whole “executive supermom” reputation I had acquired was overrated. It turns out I didn’t just want to have it all; I wanted the freedom to enjoy it. And I’ll bet you do too.

So what if I told you that while you are hitting a limit, just like I was hitting that ceiling, you’re not hitting the limit of your potential? You’re hitting the limit of your personal capacity. And if you want to break through that, you have to play an entirely new game. What got you here won’t get you there. It’s a cliché because it’s true. You can’t work your way through this. You’re not going to outwork it. You have to lead your way through it. That shift from doing to leading is the shift we missed. And when we figure out that the leadership playbook actually applies not only in our careers but to our whole lives, we see that the skills that make great leaders anywhere in the world—political leaders, academic leaders, thought leaders, business leaders—are the same skills that let you have a big, full life and the freedom to enjoy it.

Now, that’s a bold promise, right? To tell you that not only can you have it all, which everyone has been telling you that you can’t have, but you also can have the freedom to enjoy it. That’s a big promise. And honestly, I am ready to deliver on it because I have been testing this idea, working on this with a collective of women for a while now.

And here’s what I am doing. I am done playing small. I feel like I have created a lot of things over the years that are like small slices of the solution. I have been doing this kind of work now for 15 years in some way, shape, or form. And I keep going after small slices of the challenge. But what I have realized is that this is the through-line. This shift is really the thing that makes all of the puzzle pieces fall into place. And that’s the work I want to do with you.

So what I am creating is a selective membership for women who are at this exact crossroads, women who are feeling called to lead their lives in the direction of their dreams. This is not just a membership; it’s more than a membership. If you’ve heard of a mastermind, it’s more than a mastermind. It’s a bit of a movement. It is led by women and for women because, listen, we just play the game differently. If we want to make a bold impact with our lives, if we want to get to the end of our lives and say, there is a legacy that I have left through my family, my work, my time here—if we want to chase those dreams that we put on the shelf and have a little fun doing it—we’re going to have to get out of these isolation chambers we’ve created where we just put our heads down and work all day. We’re going to have to do this together.

I think you might be here today for a reason. There might be a reason you pressed play on this particular episode. There might be a reason you found your way to the Brilliant Balance community and to my work. You’re not in a crisis. You’re at a crossroads, and you can feel it. You know that what got you here—the set of skills that got you this far—won’t get you there. The second half of this race is going to have to be run differently. And honestly, I bet you feel like time is running short. I certainly do.

But there is an opportunity I’m putting in front of you today to take a step toward relief, a step toward support, an incredible circle of support, really a step toward your people because you don’t have to do everything yourself. You don’t even have to figure out how to make this shift on your own. I am right here with this circle of women waiting for you.

If you are listening today and feeling like, “Oh my God, does she have a camera in my house? How does she know?”—it’s because this was probably designed for you. I want you to give yourself the chance to see what’s happening in BOLD. And yes, I said that correctly—what is already happening in BOLD. Because, little plot twist, this isn’t entirely brand new. It’s just new to you. For several years now, I have been inviting women into this group after they finished one of my smaller coaching programs. As of this recording, nearly 100 women have said yes to that invitation and joined this circle. They’ve stayed for as long as made sense for them—some are still there, some have moved on—and they have used the opportunity of being in this exceptional circle of women to find the courage to do exceptional things. Not only to do the big things but also to find their people to do everyday life with.

This is a place where, whether you are feeling brilliant or broken today, you belong. You can bring all of it. We have too many places where we show up to perform. You know the circles you’re in, where it’s all about how great you can sound and look. Some of those are virtual platforms; some are in-person gatherings. And we also have places where we show up only to get support. If you’ve ever been part of a group therapy circle or a support group, those are places to bring everything and say, “I just need to pull the energy of this group.” This group, this circle, sits right at the intersection of work and life—what you do for work and what you do in the rest of your life. It also sits at the intersection of celebrating your biggest wins and getting support when you have no idea what to do next. There are very few places, if we’re honest with ourselves, that walk that line. This is one of them.

The women I’ve had the opportunity to bring into this membership and support, give advice to, and mentor have gone on to do things they are so proud of, and I am so proud of. They’ve made big pivots in their careers, grown companies they started to levels they never imagined, expanded the size of their teams, been promoted, made partner, or started nonprofits to make the change in the world they wanted to see. They’ve hired assistants of various kinds, fulfilled personal dreams of starting blogs, publishing books, or starting podcasts, earned advanced degrees or certifications, and enjoyed dream vacations and experiences they’d been thinking about but hadn’t actually done.

We’ve had women take sabbaticals, pick up new hobbies they didn’t have time for, and most importantly, make new friends. They’ve built relationships with people they can do life with, who know what’s really going on—not just the shiny version of themselves that they’re putting out on social media for public consumption, but what’s really going on behind the scenes. All of these women have made a bigger impact with more freedom. And that’s what happens in BOLD. So I want you to imagine what it could do for you. What’s the “both and”? What’s the impact you want to make, and what’s the freedom you want to gain? I want you to imagine what that could look like, but better yet, I want you to find out.

If you are sitting here today thinking, “Oh my gosh, this sounds like me. These sound like my people. I want to know what it’s like inside of that community,” I want you to know this is a selective community. I am curating this community through an application process so that no one in there has to hold back their success. Most of the women who have found their way into BOLD have been told at some point in their life—I certainly have—that they need to tone it down a little bit, shine a little less brightly, so they don’t make people feel bad. I don’t want anyone in this community to feel like they have to tone it down. But I am taking you through an application process because I want to make sure you are willing to be vulnerable. If this turns into a peacock society where everyone shows up preening and telling us how great they are without being humble enough to say, “This is where I’m experiencing a challenge. This is where I need help. This is where I don’t have it figured out,” then the tone and vibe will be all wrong.

We’re using an application process to make sure that you and I have met before you come into this experience. I want you to go get more information. That’s it. It’s a really simple next step. Go to brilliant-balance.com/bold. That’s our website. If you’ve never been there, you’re welcome—you’re going to love it. brilliant-balance.com/bold. That’s where you’ll find all the details about this experience. Once you’ve looked at that, if you’re fired up and ready to apply, yay! You can do that right from there. You can complete an application, and then you and I will have a conversation. We’re calling it an interview. It’s an opportunity for us to spend an extended amount of time together to make sure this is a step you are ready to take and to make sure I understand how the community will be enhanced by you being there.

If you get to the website and feel like you’re not quite ready to apply, that’s okay. We’ll give you a really simple way to get more information. I want to make sure you feel safe taking the first step. I just want you to promise yourself this as you listen today: no matter what, don’t let this moment slip away without making a conscious decision. We’ve all done it—arrived at our destination, listened to the podcast, thought, “That’s interesting,” turned it off, went inside, and forgot all about it. Whatever you need to do to remind yourself—voice dictate it into your phone, jot a note in your planner, whatever system you use—make sure you give yourself a chance to make a conscious decision about whether this is right for you.

If you listen today and think, “I already know this is not right for me,” that’s fine. You’ve made your decision, which is awesome. But if you’re intrigued and just don’t have the details, make sure you don’t forget to do that. This is your chance to be part of something extraordinary. I want to tell you this: there really is more for you. There’s more influence, more impact, and more fulfillment waiting for you. But it’s not going to come from doing more—it’s going to come from leading more. Just imagine what could happen if you took all that energy you’ve been pouring into the day-to-day grind and channeled it into visionary leadership. Imagine the decisions you’d be making, decisions that really shape the future—not just yours, but for your family, your organization, maybe even your entire industry.

Imagine leading with purpose, clarity, and the unwavering support of this collection of women who are just as driven, just as ambitious, and just as committed as you are. I am inviting you today to join us, to take a step toward this high-vibe community of extraordinary women who are ready to lift you up as you rise to your highest potential. Make that shift from doing to leading, from success to significance. Your next chapter is waiting. It’s time for you to be bold.