Episode #420 – Unpopular advice: Get comfortable being uncomfortable

I’m Cherylanne Skolnicki, and this is Brilliant Balance — the show for those of us who still dare to want it all.
Who have big dreams and bold ambitions. I think we deserve to have a big, full life and the freedom to enjoy it. So let’s design our next chapter together—for brilliance, not burnout. Each week, I’ll bring ideas, insight, and a fresh perspective to keep you growing into a life that feels as good as it looks.

Brilliant Balance. Your life, your way. Now let’s get started.

This is episode 420 of the Brilliant Balance Podcast, and today I’m sharing some unpopular advice: Get comfortable being uncomfortable.

Welcome back to the podcast! If you’re a long-time listener, you’ll recognize this is a phrase I’ve probably said many times over the years. And if you’re newer to the show and you pressed play because this intrigued you, you’re in for a treat.

This phrase—“get comfortable being uncomfortable”—is one I’ve been using with myself, my children, and my clients for decades at this point. And the story that anchors this entire episode took place a rather long time ago. When the original episode first aired, my oldest daughter was still in grade school—she’s now a junior in college. So yes, we’re going back to the archives for this one!

I re-listened in preparation for airing it this week, and I think this one stands up. There are so many lessons I’ve learned from raising my children that apply to my own life, to my clients’ lives, and to a larger life philosophy that’s evolved over time.

This particular principle is one I want you to pay close attention to if you’re in a life chapter where you’re doing things differently—where the choices you’re making are stirring up discomfort, whether physical, mental, or emotional. That happens to all of us, but sometimes it feels like the volume gets turned up on that discomfort.

Our expectations and attitudes about how uncomfortable something “should” be really color our ability to tolerate it and move through it. That’s what sits at the center of this episode.

So, I’m going to air this encore episode, and I’d love to hear your feedback as you listen. You’ll hear me reference a young child—she’s now much older—but I love revisiting these timeless lessons.

So here we go: Get comfortable being uncomfortable, my friends.

I’m sitting here today in my office wearing a pair of adorable shoes that I am about ready to throw out the window. You know the ones—you love how they look in your closet, but you hate how they feel on your feet. These shoes hurt to sit in. I’m not even standing or walking, and my feet still hurt. This is not okay.

In my twenties, I wore uncomfortable shoes willingly—a lot, actually. But in my forties, my rule is that I have to be able to walk in them and still look cute. I have standards for shoes now! I can already tell what’s going to happen—you’re all going to start sending me shoe recommendations, aren’t you? Go ahead; post them in the comments. I’d love to hear your suggestions.

But here’s why I bring this up. Shoes are not an area of my life where I need to be uncomfortable. We have lots of choices there.

Today, though, we’re going to talk about when you do need to be uncomfortable—when maybe you should even choose to be uncomfortable. Because when there’s an opportunity for you to grow, you almost always need to lean into the discomfort.

Let me kick this off with a story. It’s the one where this idea really solidified for me.

One afternoon, my daughter came into the kitchen, dropped herself onto a stool, and started doing that thing where you bite at the skin around your nail beds, tap your toe, bounce your knee up and down—it was stressing me out just to look at her. I knew something was up.

So I asked, “What’s going on?”

Of course, she said, “Nothing.”

I thought, Really? Because your fingers are about to bleed.

After a moment, she said, “Well, maybe there’s something. We have to run this timed mile in gym class tomorrow, and I just… I don’t want to come in last. It’ll be fine. We don’t have to talk about it.”

But I couldn’t just let that hang there.

Now, you should know I have a little credibility in this conversation—I used to run marathons and half-marathons. So she knows running is part of my story.

She initially refused to talk, but a few seconds later, she came back—one of my favorite things about that age is that you still have influence!

I could’ve taken the conversation in a few different directions: how winning isn’t everything, how it’s not really a competition, how I’d be proud no matter what. But that day, a specific message came to mind about mindset.

I asked her, “What do you think it’s going to feel like while you’re running the mile?”

She hadn’t really thought about that. So we talked about it. I asked, “Are you expecting it to be uncomfortable?”

It turned out she wasn’t. Her expectation was that it should be easy. And because it wouldn’t be easy, she was worried she’d finish last.

So I said, “Running a mile isn’t going to feel the same as sitting on the couch or walking for ten minutes. Your lungs are going to burn. You might get a stitch in your side. Your legs will get heavy. But if you settle in and say, ‘There it is—the stitch, the burning, the fatigue—I was expecting this,’ then you’ll keep running. You’ll finish. You probably won’t be last.”

She listened, not entirely impressed, and said, “So if I do that, I won’t be last?”

I said, “That’s right.”

She said, “Alright. Burning lungs, here I come.”

The next day, she came home practically sauntering into the house. I asked, “How’d it go?” She grabbed my shoulders and said, “Mom! 7:59! I finished in 7:59! I wasn’t even close to last.”

It was such a moment—for her, for me. Score one for Mom. Because what got her across that finish line wasn’t fitness. It was mindset.

She didn’t freak out when it got uncomfortable.

That’s what most of us do. We think it’s supposed to be easy. When it isn’t, we assume something’s wrong with us, and then we quit.

But growth—real growth—almost always feels uncomfortable. You’re trying new things, building new skills, using new muscles. It’s awkward. It burns. But if you expect it, you can handle it.

Three Lessons to Take Away

1. When you’re growing, discomfort is normal.
   Expect it. Envision it. Talk to others who’ve done what you’re trying to do. Normalize it.

2. Discomfort is temporary.
   It eases with time and experience. This isn’t about “toughing it out” indefinitely. It’s about intentionally leaning in, knowing it will pass.

3. Discomfort is survivable.
   You won’t die. It’s just your brain’s alarm system reacting. That ancient “lizard brain” treats anything unfamiliar as danger, but your evolved mind knows better. So calm yourself and keep going.

When you make peace with discomfort—because you know it’s normal, temporary, and survivable—you grow. And when you grow, your confidence increases.

I see this pattern all the time with the women in my programs—entrepreneurs afraid of sales calls, writers afraid to publish, leaders afraid to say no. But once they push through the discomfort, they realize they’re okay—and that growth becomes their power.

So where in your life do you want to grow? What would change if you simply expected it to be uncomfortable, remembered it’s temporary, and knew you wouldn’t die?

Try it. Take action. And remember—when you’re off trying new things, that inner critic will start yelling. Ignore her. Keep going.

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That’s all for today, my friends. Until next time, let’s be brilliant.